Your eyes are like stars
When no one is around me
you become my universe and planets like Mars
I just stand close to you when the wind sours
Then you advance close to me my darling
and it feels like the world has paused
I love standing out in the wind and rain
it releases my soul and washes away my pain
When he hurt you it was his loss
I will promise you no harm angel
and I will be your gain
You look at me, say nothing and sigh
I wrap my arms around you once more
and slowly whisper for another try
Your face is illuminated with the moons beauty so strong
you tenderly smile and say scream me a love song
A contest entry
- 18 and under by Riftkin.
600 points, ended August 22, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETRY OF HONORABLE MENTION ONLY by Three Doves.
300 points, ended September 5, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best! by genevieve3.
600 points, ended February 17, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Stunning
that was beautiful. so vivid and consuming. I almost lost myself in this poem. Thats really important and you nailed it bar none. Amazing work buddy. keep up the good work
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very soulful, I enjoyed this one a lot, ive written one poem on my old account, but I kind of gave up writing haha.
bravo,
Damian -
Really beautiful man, very nice, I like this one a lot!
bravo
Shawn
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wow
omg, that was beautiful. u did a great job, keep on writting, ur good at it. -
WOW
vERY GOOD. I love this one. I think it is your best so far. Keep up the good work.
Loves
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lovely
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I too, am a romantic at heart. Thanks for entering.
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This is an incredibly romantic poem - the world needs more men capable of being this sweet.
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Wow! I really like this one. The whole work has a feeling of...soft rain washing away my sins. My lover's face, moist with rain drops on a moon lite night. You really painted me a picture here. I really love the line "scream me a love song". I am not sure why I like it so much. I think it the contradictory nature of the 2 phrases "scream" and "a love song". But I have screamed a love song, but just never put it quite so poeticly. Blessings, Doris
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Beautifully amazing! Good luck in the contest!
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Love it!
I love this style and the wording you used! It really flows and paints a picture in my head of love and healing. I'm glad I saw you in the Disabilities group! Happy writing!
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emo...emo...emotions running deep!
nice one m8 the write is class and there's loads of emotions...keep goin' fella! -Domz
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woooo.. love iT!!!!!
SCREAM MEEE A LOVE SONG... !!***
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this was amazing, it really blew me away. the emotion throughout the whole thing were amazinng.
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"I will be your gain" such beautiful love in these words. The poem flows well with off and on rhyme well written. Thank you for your entry into the contest and best wishes.
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this is a great poem and I love your form of writing, this is great.
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Beautifully done dear nephew
Good luck in the contest
love ~sugar~
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