My vestments reek of worldly cares,
I have tarried too long
in affliction's pit of pride and ego.
In my blind journey down the path of free will,
I have not stumbled, but fallen.
only to rise and fall again.
Tripping over didactic ideals
of societal compliance,
of war like, bayonet mindsets.
I have not thrust the blade,
but my hands are bloodied none the less,
my lethargy the conveyance of the death blow.
An uncaring chromium blade sliding,
sliding into societies of those we as a people think less of.
Our silence to Dar-fur, Baghdad, and Kabul,
To Detroit streets, LA gangs, 6th graders on crack...
children with AIDS, starvation, deprivation, annihilation...
Yes, yes, my vestments reek of worldly cares,
and what is the scent of yours?
A contest entry
- Just Do It by Facial Pagan.
520 points, ended August 24, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by Beating.
1300 points, ended September 13, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Philosophical Poetry by SilverInk.
600 points, ended December 24, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Nice, i liked this, particularly the last line ending with a question to the reader. It's a good tactic when writing philosophically as it forces others not simply to read but to think. Good luck in the contest!
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Much the same scent haunts me, Sir Bill. But one to one, when opportunity calls, I touch what I can and hope the ripples go further than I can tell. Sometimes, it's only a thought, with only the wish that it does not go forth void.
Truth is a huge healing component, but sometimes it is very bitter to digest. I am so impressed with the strength in your words. Facing fear takes a lot of courage. I feel yours. ~ K
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Yes, we all bear some responsibility in this world. I don't know how to solve the big problems, so I help locally in a group. One small detail missed - children with AIDS - acquired immune deficiency syndrome.
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Thanks margaret for catching that detail, i made the change thank you
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Thanks margaret for cacthing that detail, i made the change thank you
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well, that's a very powerful piece of writting.
good luck in the contest
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Marc thanks, this was a more important piece for me to write, I have spoken before about attempting to divulge truth to readers of poetry, but i have also felt that i must face my own truths, this one of them, our paths must consistantly lead to a higher state of being we must be strong enough to face our fears, battle our ignorance and become better human beings
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"I have not thrust the blade,
but my hands are bloodied none the less,"
I really like this write. I have to agree with the other commentors: this piece really is powerful! Good job! -
A powerful powerful write Bill . . . painful but bloody necessary in today's tortured world.
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DEEP
Oh, that smell... It's on us all. This is a heavy and thought-provoking piece of writing that speaks of the writer's journey and disappointments. Caught one typo "in afflictions pit of pride and ego." affliction's
Good job, painful question! PP
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Sad
Great write, you got it all out just right. My favourite part was: " Our silence to Dar-fur, Baghdad, Kabul,
To Detroit streets, LA gangs, 6th graders on crack..." just the thought of 6th graders on crack. ugh.
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