Kill me with a [bat] of your lashes and a [swing] of your hips.
Your life is l.i.t.t.e.r.e.d with broken hearts and false promises.
Every day you remind me how -hopeless- you are, how -helpless- to your addictions.
While you're a {beautiful liar}, I'm just a {forgotten tragedy}.
I wish you could actually see me, not just through me.
I just want to lay |here| and watch you smile at everything I find so admirable.
Don't bother trying to pull me back up onto *your* cloud
I've been hanging from the n o o s e you made for me out your web of deciet.
Author notes
I LOVE THE BIG BLUE.
A contest entry
- Dirty Pretty Contest by Innocent Evil.
700 points, ended January 5, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
this indeed was well penned. short and sweet and not over usage of "dirtt pretty"
best wishes in all you endure.
tory
-
great job!! love this part
While you're a {beautiful liar}, I'm just a {forgotten tragedy}.
-
While you're a {beautiful liar}, I'm just a {forgotten tragedy}.
beautifulbeautiful. -
Beautiful job. you have an excellent style and lovely grasp of words.. Good luck in the contest hun.
-Danneh<3 -
Love it. The words are awesomely put together, and nice use of dirty pretty. Especially love the beginning, but all of it is awesome...
"Kill me with a [bat] of your lashes and a [swing] of your hips.
Your life is l.i.t.t.e.r.e.d with broken hearts and false promises."
OMG. Absolutely perfect.
~QoA
-
abso-fucking-lutely perfect.
i'm delirious and sleep-deprived right now.
so i'll let the little clappy dudes tell you
that this is fucking incredible.
-
I like it. It's pretty. I like the dirty pretty you did, it's nice. Great piece.
-
i like it in a way. I really like the first line =]] because it could also be a start of a GOOD love poem and i dont mean this is bad i mean that its like grr haha idk anwyays nice jobb
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
