Our love is embedded amongst the gravel of life
Uniting us like the sands of forbidden time
Stone by stone we marbleize in each others arms
As your lips fix firmly with mine like the cement of love
Our love variegates colors of passion upon our flesh
Blending into the earth of emotions and desire
Allowing us to live and die as one united
Destined to the paths and the road of affection
My hands intertwine every pebble of your sculptured body
Like a three-dimensional figure sharpened for me to hold
An unforgettable statue of sensual pleasure
With every particle brushing against my sexual rock
Casting my limestone within your granite
Exploding an avalanche of brilliant marble
Sintering the mist of aromatic quarry stone
Our love is embedded amongst the gravel of life
A contest entry
- whatever you want by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended October 1, 2007, 119 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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wow
I thought that your choice of words in this piece was chosen well. I'm not normally one to read work like this, but I guess it caught my eye, and now that I've read it, I realize it was quite different than other poems I've read. Like I said, the choice of words was really good. Keep writing!
-Lord Abortion -
This is a really well written piece....
personally not one for sensuality, I enjoyed this piece, it was not overly done, but flowed with compassion & beauty of emotional expression
excellent
a pleasure to read
Tracey
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The woman can write! Not much into erotica which this isn't much but it got me hot under the collar. I loved it! I like the term 'sexual rock'. You're a lucky lady to get to feel this way.
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This was a great poem.
Amber -
Full applaud...9pts
Thanks for adding to the reading list...The Poetic Bandits
~Lilac
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Wow, I thought this was really amazing in how you used your choice of words. I thought it was completely compassionate. I especially like "With every particle brushing against my sexual rock
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This isn't bad. I never seen love referred metaphorically like this before. Pretty good. There is just one line I really didn't like which was
"
As your lips fix firmly with mine like the cement of love "
I don't know cement is firm and hard to break, but I also thought of it being stubborn and not being flexible. It's just that part Personally for me that I didn't like. Other then that it was pretty good. Good luck in the contest. -
Quite the picture of these two lovers, and a wonderful poem to accompany this pic. Very metaphoric and easy to read and understand.
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This is a well written sensual poem expressing the deep physical love and attraction with thoughtful and expressive imagery. Your words bring the picture to life. Well done my Bandit friend.
Dennis
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You tell the picturs story like it is, the pleasurs,
the sense of timeless love. together.
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intricate
It was written like it was a story. THe pic is amazing
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"Blending into the earth of emotions and desire
Allowing us to live and die as one united
Destined to the paths and the road of affection
My hands intertwine every pebble of your sculptured body"
I absolutely loved these lines. Your imagery throughout, though, is sensual and evocative, and the flow is smooth and slightly dreamy. I enjoyed this!
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Superb Writing
This is very beautiful writing you know. Superb. There is a lot of sensuality in this write, which comes through very much. The words carry the reader away with her. Keep writing. You are very good.
Wayne
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Thank you for a great comments
LISA
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This was written very well
Love the sesuality of it, the take on the pic
was wonderful. Great job thank you for entering
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