It seems I've died today
And in the deepest part of my heart
I can say I'm honestly not okay
I watch the blood fall achingly to the floor
And all I can feel is used and dirty
just like a whore
I feel widowed in my death
What am I doing here anyway?
It seems he left me in the night
I couldn't find him the next day
So I tried my hardest to breathe
up and left the computer screen
to massage my veins with a razor
and found that my blood could spill
pretty fast
And that our love couldn't last
His name is all I scribble into my diary
Little black hearts fragmented by the pieces
of me swallow up the essence of his memory
This wasn't how it was supposed to be
Yet I'm trying to find my sunshine
Despite the fact that he's gone
And I find only this engulfing darkness
I feel like a pawn
Seems I get screwed over every chance
life gets
I'm filled with self-hatred, how could
I forget
Every mistake, every scar is made more
aware by the fact that he's gone
I'm trying to get up off the floor
But I feel I can't, I just can't move on
Trace his name in blood on my mirror
Smash the mirror because I wasn't perfect
enough for him to stay
I fucking hate my life, I fucking hate
this day
What do I do now? What have I become?
What am I at all anymore?
Nothing more but a fragmented whore
His name is cut into my skin
So I never forget the love we could've had
Seems love has become just another four
letter word
Just the latest fad.
Author notes
Option 3 & 6:Emo and depression.
Inspired by you Kaydee. I love you.
A contest entry
- Candy Coated Lies && Acid Tears by ThnxsForTheMmrs-x-.
425 points, ended August 23, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope you like this Kaydee. I fucking love you
Comments
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Omg hunn,, u ahve to be kididng,, me i love how u used rays poem and kinda of like replied to him back for me,, its spectacular,, great job!!!! i love you so much its better than i could do my self,, but hun
i was managing to forget,, i thought i could survive,,now im chocking on my tears,,
i cant do this,, i cant live without him ,he was my everything,, like he goes from begging me 24 /7 and totaly in love with me,, and then gone within a blink, as if i took that long to finaly say yesm fuck im so stupid,, i hate myself!!!!
make the pain go away!!!!!
save me???
fuck,...
idk what to do with myself -
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Baby I love you and I believe he loves you too. You two seem like you'd be happy together because you both love each other. Don't give up on him Kaydee, wait for him if you believe your love is worth it, You two can make it because you two had so much love there. Don't give up on him, I'm always going to be here to catch you when you fall, I'll always be your lighthouse to light your way in the darkness and your rock to depend on , to keep you safe. I'm always here baby and I'll try my best to make the pain go away. What you should do with yourself is sit down and write out your pain sweetheart, you'll make it bby. I know you can, I'm here hunnie and I'm not going anywhere, promise. So you can rant and rave and say whatever crazy shit you need to say to me for you to feel and truly be okay. You need to talk to Ray, leave him a message, telling him everything about how you feel and tell him the truth, and then, I'm sure he'll understand either way. I love you.
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