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Antique Vacant

My lying face,
  A deadly waste
  A toxic thing staring back,
  Fighting smile, unwanted smile,
  Layers of hair, I lack
  Once you look,
  You can't look back
  Brutal eyes,
  They televise
  Nothing that I feel,
  because everything I show
  isn't anything real
  Crocked noise,
  Dimwit poise
  She's no ballerina.
  Clenched fist,
  Screw this bliss,
  Just a bunch of bull,
  now my stomachs full
  Time to chuck up,
  What says I suck,
  What the hell,
  I don't give a fuck
  Mirror, Mirror,
  Go TO HELL!
  You're an inconvenient object
  And nothing can fix
  What you reflect

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • AltruisticSociopath
    August 31, 2007

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    Cool Title

    "Mirror, Mirror/ GO TO HELL!" are my favorite lines. They slap the reader in the face right near the end. I like a lot of the thoughts in this piece, such as "She's no ballerina." The title also sounds nice, and suites the poem well.


  • Shane Toona
    August 30, 2007

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    I enjoyed this very much. A bit cynical, but in a good way. It flows quite nicely. Well done. Excellent write. Keep evolving!


  • storiesuntold
    August 26, 2007

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    What a sad poem here

    Was this for a contest for I would think you were serious in this one . Ah I see it was for the contest thank goodness you had me worried


  • letters to no one
    August 22, 2007

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    This has an excellent flow,

    Just remember not to break the mirror, otherwise you'll have 7 years of bad luck!


  • Forgot2Breathe
    August 21, 2007
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    this is so emotional
    so much hatred in this
    damn mirror
    why does it hate us?


  • Inverted-Hearts
    August 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. kick that mirror's ass!!!
    Nice deeep poem, LOVE IT!

  • daydreamer09x
    August 21, 2007
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    wow wow WOW! I know how u feel!!! I look the mirror mirror part...just amazing!


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    August 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this has clout..you loathe a lot my friend.. well done and best of luck


  • Alien She
    August 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    BAD-ASS! as usual.


  • grannyeri gold member
    August 20, 2007

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    Oh what a hateful poem, so hard to imagine someone feeling this way about themeselves, but it sure works for this scontestws this is entered in. Good flow and very vivid visual images this glass reflects as you look at your reflection. So much more than just as face, but all that goes on inside as well. Your face is like a mask, that covers what really goes on inside.

1 - 11 of 11