.
Yesterday these trees were young
spreading limbs to kiss the sun
their reds and gold in autumn shone
resplendent in each early dawn.
An awesome cyclone saw this fare
and rattled through their tawny hair,
then all at once without a sound
released them to the wasted ground.
So sad such beauty can’t escape
this ritual of natures rape,
as now reduced to skin and bone
they beautify the twilight zone.
Author notes
Note. I have chosen option TWO
A contest entry
- BEHIND EACH DOOR.... by Dalaney.
650 points, ended August 20, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silence by insearchofsweetness.
875 points, ended January 7, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Beautiful. . .you didn't even have to mention the word. Very visual.
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Liked the rhythm adn rhyme in these lines, the flow and the vivid visual images these bring to mind. Easy to read and understadn - a nice silver trophy to add to your collection as well.
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Thank you for the kind commenting
Peace
Ronn -
and the cycle starts all over again
this is beautiful, your rhythm is spot on
here, making for one enjoyable read!
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Thank you it is so nice when someone can relate to what we write. and autumn is always beautiful.
In contrast we are just coming into spring here in Australia.
peace
Ronn -
Excellent Write
with Autumn fastly approaching I look forward to the images you have put in my head with this piece.
"An awesome cyclone saw this fare
and rattled through their tawny hair,
then all at once without a sound
released them to the wasted ground." I remember just a few years ago while traveling in Maine I was at an overpass looking down to a valley of red and orange gold and brown leaves. a beautiful sight in itself. when all of a sudden the leaves spiraled up in a funnel tornado like wind and all the leaves danced fell all around me like a magical keliedascope of beautiful colors. It was awe inspiring. Your piece just reminded me of that time. Thank you for sharing....LC
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I enjoyed this very much. I liked the autumn imagery, and especially line 6.
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Thank you everyone for the lovely comments.
Peace Ronn -
Poor trees, we had a really bad storm here a few days ago and some trees were struck down along with power lines. Almost the whole county was out of power.
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Good job on silver It is like you opened a new world or is it the real world. I loved it it flowed beautifully .
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Congratulation On the Silver
A Beautiful write wonderfully expressed, I love these lines,
LISA
"So sad such beauty can’t escape
this ritual of natures rape,
as now reduced to skin and bone
they beautify the twilight zone."
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Wow~ This is totally deserving of award! Nice JOB! I luv'd it!!! congrats on your silver!!!
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Thank you Kaitlyn and Nick N. for reading for me.
Ronn -
Worthy of silver, worthy of gold! A beautiful piece and the imagery made me see it all happening. Another great write.
-Nick
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The trophy was well deserved, this is a realy great poem. I can see the picture realy well, you did a great job with your descripting. =]
Kailtyn
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Wow!
First of all, the rhyming and meter in this piece are very good, giving it a consistent rhythm. The imagery in this poem is very vivid, giving the reader the possibility to imagine what the scene might look like.
Wonderfully done.
Congrats on your trophy - you deserve it!
Keep on writing!
♥ Ann
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My thank you to all of you for your kind and wonderful words.
Peace
Ronn -
Wow what an amazing write of Autumn's approach. I love it. Wonderful imagery and emotion. I could feel the trees pain almost. Congrats on the Silver well deserved.
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It starts out so serenely, praising the colors of fall, and becomes more sinister with each line. I'd have never thought to look at the passing of the seasons in this manner, but you've taken a most original path within this poem, and that's to be applauded. Your imagery is excellent!
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What a lovely image you begin here with "spreading limbs to kiss the sun”. Your wording here for the cycle of life just thrills me: "this ritual of natures rape". Flawless here in beauty and in tragedy.
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this is a very well written poem
these lines here
So sad such beauty can’t escape
this ritual of natures rape,
as now reduced to skin and bone
I can see leaves falling off
the limbs to land on the ground -
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Thank you riftkin for those kind words,
Peace Ronn
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Very strong and concise, really nicely done. Congrats on the silver.
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Thank you Melissa W, I am glad you liked it.
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This is fabulous. The flow
is strong, like a good current
pulling my imagination along.
Wonderful visuals you have given
here, and such gorgeous words....
You have made my prelim list
Lane
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