[Laced with you]
Aug-16-07
I don’t like that you have this affect on me
You’ll never really know how I feel
Because ill never really tell you
I write about you a lot
Some people have words or lines
Others have paragraphs
But you
You have pages upon pages
You can’t read it
Or even see it
But maybe one day ill show you...
These words are written
On the pages of my heart
These pages are laced with you
Neatly woven with strands of you
Precisely picked
Perfectly placed
You may not see it
Or even notice it
But look at it for what its not
Study it
Examin it
Its there your there
The bar never comes down low enough
Leaving me left feeling unsafe unprotected
The candle never burns long enough
Leaving me scared and in the dark
You may stand here
Or walk away
But ill take the chance
What would you do if I told you
I wanted you back?
Would do anything to have you
Hold you
What if I told you I loved you?
Would you stand before me
Not blinking pretending
Those words
Didn’t slip off my tongue
Like liquid
Trying to grasp what I said
Like trying to grasp
Liquid
Like my thoughts
When I’m around you
Pouring through my fingers
Trying to catch it
Before it becomes
That puddle on the ground
That will get your sock wet
Will you search
For that wet spot?
Or will you walk
With out looking
Taking the chance
Of getting your sock
A little wet
I do love you
Weather you say something or not
Weather you walk away or not
I’ve taken the chance
I’ve said what I felt
I've said what I had to say
Author notes
live2die
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very nice work
Thank you for entering this into my contest I wish you the best of luck
Redwing Spirit
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"Because ill never really tell you" - this is a good example as to why people should use the apostrophe. When I read this line, I read the word "ill" as the intended word that it is (to be sick) and not "i'll" as you wish it. This is why one should use the apostrophe. Because sometimes it creates another word entirely without it.
"You can’t read it
Or even see it
But maybe one day ill show you... "
You use it in "can't" but not "ill"?
"Examin it" - "Examin" would be "Examine".
"Its there your there" - "your" would be "you're" and while I'm here, and though I didn't point out the other times before this line "Its" would be "It's".
I can't read this anymore. You use apostrophes in some words but not in all? It's: all or nothing.
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its better to say how you feel than to ever hold it in ... you always feel so much better when you get your true feelings off your chest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes broken hearts are caused by unspoken words.... written lovely indeed....loved this completely each line to the next everything had a wonderful flow to it.............
great job!!!!
Thank you so much for entering this creative work of art into my Contest!!!!!!!
much love and respects!!!
XxLisaJazminexX
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This is a very nice piece thnk you for your entry and goodluck to you in the contest.Best wishes and much love
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