Seductive acid like remembrance of a friend
Sour tears in my bottled up pen
Fairy's dance and flutter to block out the pain
Sweet romance dieing as soon as it came
A shot gun to my head I give to their tattered embrace
I don't want this trip, I put it in their place
Dreams we held as a Romeo and a Juliet
Scattered to their souls, we have never met
Insane ramblings, over used fights to pull
Our tall tale hearts are far too cruel
Running faster to this doomed heart of fire
Needle to arm like a love too desired
Shooting up the red inside our faces
As we scream to better our cases
Hate is to love, Love to hate
Shadows to hide our bloody fates
Shinning burns of a razors candy coated kiss
A black rose to burn with the friends to not miss
Chocolate bunnies to melt like fake hearts
A love like ours they pick apart
Author notes
Maybe im a girl , maybe im a lonley girl whose in the middle of something that she dosnt really understand
Baby wont you help me understand.
-Jem , Maybe im amazed
dazedXdesires
OPTION 21::_
Heart brake, forbidden love, unrequited love. and all that jazz.
I think it fITS UNDER THIS.. I HOPE SO, i'M SURE YOU'LL LIKE IT
A contest entry
- Candy Coated Lies && Acid Tears by ThnxsForTheMmrs-x-.
425 points, ended August 23, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥Drop The Dagger And Lather The Blood On Your Hands, Romeo!♥ by On Frail Wings..
550 points, ended August 25, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life isn't everything, Death isn't nothing 1000+ point contest, LOTS OF OPTIONS!~Still open!!!~ by Soten-Jaganshi.
1100 points, ended September 7, 2007, 62 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Pain That Love Brings by Sesheta.
600 points, ended September 10, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *Let me occupy your mind* [As you do mine] by x dont.cry.out x.
400 points, ended December 19, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Time For You To Take A Chance ~ Round One by Tears and Raine.
320 points, ended January 26, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the weeping willow by adsaige.
350 points, ended February 17, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Should you be on my favorites? by unraveled.
700 points, ended March 15, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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I really loved how you wrote this. It's so very intracate seeming. I love the flow and rhythm of it. My favorite part of the poem is:
"Dreams we held as a Romeo and a Juliet
Scattered to their souls, we have never met"
The rhyme is awesome.
I enjoyed it so much.
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I really loved your word choice. It was consice and it painted a very very detailed picture, and described the emotion wonderfully. Normally I'd pick out a line and be like "This was my favorite" But I enjoyed all of them, haha.
Good work! -
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Thanks
I am glad to see that others like it as much as I do
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I interpreted this to be about a love affair with a drug. Yes, it's addiction for for a brief time, it's absolute happiness. The last two lines are very haunting. Good job!
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not too sure yet what i think of this piece..it didn't tend to make alot of sense to me...though not sure if that's because i can't follow it or the way its written!
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I am actually disappointd that you didnt even attempt to read it
it really isnt too difficult to understand
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Very interesting write!
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I love the way this is written, it truely seems like drugs to me.... but a drug enlaced with a love. It was really well written and the way that the words followed together was just perfection...and amazing write.
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A lot of passion. and strong feelings. the last stanza was different. i like it
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Love it
Hey i like this one a lot i wright some stuff like thiss all the time but this was my fav. partHate is to love, Love to hate
Shadows to hide our bloody fates
Shinning burns of a razors candy coated kiss
A black rose to burn with the friends to not miss
Chocolate bunnies to melt like fake hearts
A love like ours they pick apart
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Thanks doll
Much appreciated.
i am glad you enjoyed it
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Wow.. a very heavy write. You have poured much emotion in to this one! I loved it, but brought back many...intersting memories for me. Congratulations on writing such an amazing piece. keep up the great work!
Spreading love to your page,
Miley -
The poem is very intense... the choice of words are really strong and that makes it that much more interesting to read... the rhyme scheme and the subject and the descriptions just amaze me and kept me from looking away... good job
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Thank you so Much
Its one of my only poems that I am absolutely amazed by myself with...
ANd I love that others can see how wonderful it is..
thanks for reading and I am glad you enjoyed it
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wow
i doubt just anyone would get this poem, but i believe i do and i think it's wonderful. great choice of words there. keep it up. -
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I hope you did understand there was a lot of heartfelt emotions put into this poem
I AM GLA YOU ENJOYED IT
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This was truly an amazing poem. I loved all of the imagery and metaphor used. It also had a good flow. My favorite lines were the first 2 lines and
Needle to arm like a love too desired
Shooting up the red inside our faces
and
Shinning burns of a razors candy coated kiss
A black rose to burn with the friends to not miss
Amazing write. If I could I would applaud you 3x.
XXCrimsonRaineX -
Not too bad at all I like where you took this.
Very intense. Good flow also!!!!! You my dear get a funny bunny!!!!
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Aside from a few spelling errors, i think this is a good poem. i like the title especially, i think the title is what drags a reader into a poem.
"Razor candy coated kisses" is something that makes someone eyes pop at the end of the poem.
i think it's really original.
Chocolate bunnies to melt like fake hearts
A love like ours they pick apart
The end.
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Wow... Great poem. It was amazingly penned... And your words were so powerful... And perfectly written.
The flow -- it was flawless.
Amazing write ~
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I am in wonder how you were inspired by my poem or picture in this...this wasn't my taste and take of the prompt, a different flavor to spice up the contest. however, not exactly the inspiring piece i was looking for to bring my deaden muse back to life presently. thought there were imagery that i greedily ate. "tattered embrace" && "tall tale hearts are far too cruel" thank you for entering, and good luck.
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A wonderful write, flowed perfectly, superbly penned
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The flow was excellent as was the content. I love that song by the way, anyway...
The ending kind of broke up a bit due to the stanzas at the end only having two lines. If it were me, I would delete the break between the last 2 stanzas and combine then into one.
But all in all a very good poem.
Becky
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"Insane ramblings, over used fights to pull
Our tall tale hearts are far too cruel
Running faster to this doomed heart of fire
Needle to arm like a love too desired
Shooting up the red inside our faces
As we scream to better our cases
Hate is to love, Love to hate
Shadows to hide our bloody fates
Shinning burns of a razors candy coated kiss
A black rose to burn with the friends to not miss
Chocolate bunnies to melt like fake hearts
A love like ours they pick apart "
wow ok what to say about the last part of this poem,,
SHIT IT WAS AMAZONG,,,
THATS ALL THERE IS TO SAY,,
IT HAD EXELLENT PACE,, AND FLOW, AND EVERYTHING FIT NICLEY.!!
THIS POEM WAS OMG SPECTACULAR AND THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT IT I DIDNT LIKE,,
I WAS THINKING THIS CONTEST MINGHT BE A DUD,, BECAUSE I WANST FINDING VERY MUCH OF WHAT I TRULY WANTED,, BUT THEN U CAME ALONG AND THIS POEM I READ,, AND RE READ,, AND IT WAS EVERYTHING ,, THINK YOU SO MUCH,, YOU HAVE NO IDEA,,, YOU ARE MY FRECKING HERO!!!
GRREAT JOD,,, AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
THANK YOU FOR USING THE WORD BOXX,,, MY WORDS AND UR PORTRY,,, FIT MOST NICLEY!!1
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,, NEVER SLOW IT DOWN!!!
kAYDEE
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Thank you so much
Your words of happpiness made it worth it. I like using word banks It keeps you on a certain path and it really helps when it comes ot my writting...
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GREAT!!!!
its great....i love the wording...."Chocolate bunnies to melt like fake hearts
A love like ours they pick apart"...perfict...
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oh my!...what a great poem u wrote. you're a very talented poet. dont stop writing.
i have some poems, but they're like 4 years old. i was like 16 at the time so def. not as good as ur poem...haha
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Thank you very much...
All of my poems come from the pain I go through..this one is actually true in many wyas and just happened tonight
Such sad sob storys my poems do tell...
I'm glad you enjoyed though...
and thanks your comment made me smile
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