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- Muse Made Him--> Click Click -

 

 

Muse blatantly blamed for actions
when fidgety fingers pulled trigger-
click, click~reload~click, click
he heard before all went blank.

Police pressed into his conscious,
asked questions of who, what, where
and why did he do this horrific deed
yet nothing escaped to entrap
an innocent misunderstanding in mind.

Wife committed crimes against his heart
but forgiveness flowed throughout
also absence made her Spirit detour
into a co-workers arms.

Paranoia wanted to prove them wrong,
powdered residue planted on fingers
by someone who wanted to wreck havoc
for fault should be pointed at person
with the scent of her essence harbored
alongside some secrets kept,
she spilled from lips.

His Church stood by him, believed words
from accused used to corner this lamb,
the flock supported in Savior’s name.

Medication he missed contributed to control
being out of control during time temper
flared to highest degree, death occurred
though his supporters blurted blasphemy.

CSI collected, concluded match of prints
plus DNA determined one in a million
and he was the one only sympathy plea
swayed female jurors who disagreed,
set him free when faced in trial.

Acquittal due to dementia onset, severe:
psychiatrist pitched then paid handsomely
under the table while lawyer left country;
the legality of their licenses under review.  

A smile smeared crimson on pictures
in album of past lives defendant lived
behind children buried by own hands
throttled around throat
while women were mentally tortured
until he pulled trigger- click, click
then pleaded insanity to the ignorant
who set him free.


 

 

Author notes

Username: Desire

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Celticmoon
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    - Muse Made Him--> Click Click - by Desire

    Title - 9
    Style - 7
    Form - 7
    Spelling - 10
    Captivating - 8
    Originality - 8
    Reaction - 8
    Rules - 10
    Makes sense - 8
    Enjoyable - 7

    Total - 82

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    August 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    - Muse Made Him--> Click Click - by Desire

    Title - 8
    Style - 8
    Form - 8
    Spelling - 10
    Captivating - 7
    Originality - 7
    Reaction - 7
    Rules - 10
    Makes sense - 8
    Enjoyable - 7

    total: 80


  • Frodofan silver member
    August 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Reminded me of that standard question on the millions of job applications I've submitted, "it is maddening when the court lets guility criminals go free:
    agree or disagree, etc."

    Title - 5
    Style - 8
    Form - 8
    Spelling - 10
    Captivating - 8
    Originality - 10
    Reaction - 8
    Rules - 10*
    Makes sense - 10
    Enjoyable - 8

    total: 85


  • Bedroom Eyes
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Holy Moly!

    This is a rather horrifying, but all too common story. Those who commit horrific crimes walk away due to some loophole in the law.

    Disturbing imagery, but that really is the purpose isn't it? You've done a great job of capturing what is wrong in society today...Nice work

    Best of luck in the contest!


  • HaleyMary
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Powerful write. It is sad that some people will plead to insanity when they kill someone. While there are some people in the world who are indeed mentally ill, I don't understand a mentally ill person carrying out such a cruel crime. But, I suppose not many people can understand people like that. The ending was powerful. It makes the reader question justice and if the system is indeed protecting the victims of murder in society. Good luck in the contest.


  • StarEyes
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!! What a read this one is! I have to agree with penman, this is beyond words! All I am gonna say is great job on this one, and Best of luck in this rounds contest!!!!

    and much love


    Nettie


  • penman gold member
    August 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    What an incredible poem sweetness. So amazing. Simply beyond words. Best of luck in the challenge.

1 - 7 of 7