After 18 years
you'd expect a big cheer
because your baby girl
is out of here
long cries
long tears
she packs up her trunk
and shes gone
long gone
chorus
you try to raise em right
and you hold em real tight
say 'I love you' all the time
keep em close in sight
but in the end their gone
up and leave their gone
love em like no other gone
flesh and blood forever gone
raised for
going going going gone
He messed up again
police bring him home at ten
a bad boy to the bone
and you've done all you can
hope floats
hope falls
they escort him to the bus
and he's gone
long gone
chorus
you've raised em since birth
buried them in Earth
your babies all gone
all thats left is hurt
road trip
car crash
you shut all their caskets
and they're gone
long gone
chorus
Author notes
This is the first song that i've ever written. I'm not sure what the tune is yet. I'm still workin on that. Also, I'm thinkin about makin a new ending, andding stuff after the chorus. any suggestions?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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For the tune the word gone is used often you I would suggest a repeating cord for that word when it ends a line. As for a little bit of criticism is seems a little short not that I didn't like it. I did like it a good job.
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