I spoke to you in whispers
in silent gestures of failing love
that sway only slightly in the breeze.
I sang to you in ancient songs
in unspoken melodies of a bursting heart
that dwindle, forgotten in the moonlight
neglected by the spirit
I cried for you in scornful prose
in infectious pages of loathing
that taint the soul with hated verse
I painted you on canvas
in shameful hues of spite and indecision
that eased my mind from suffering
persuading an abandoned love to forgive
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration #8 by Laura Lamarca.
600 points, ended August 21, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party 2 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 22, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
I have been there. You made me remember the moment. Beautifully said. Patti
-
You have envoked alot of feeling and thinking in this.Such sad thoughts.Makes me remember the way I feel when I am feeling sad.You definatly got the way you were thinking and feeling across.My thoughts on this one is the hope that other people will read this and are able to get what they may be feeling out to.You have a good chance at reading this.Thanks for your insight on this subject.
-
Wow...this seems like you're so heartbroken...
Writing poetry is a great way to escape all of these feelings and to just let everything out of your system. From this poem, I can tell that you're very good with your use of words and being able to put them together. I think you should keep writing as much as you need to, because this piece is touching.
-Lord Abortion -
Sometimes, the best thing about life is not the thing we see but the thing we do. Not every soul can be reflected upon. It is a very delicate piece you have. It is also sorrowful as well. But hey, when all our emotions are poured out, deep inside, we are free. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing
-
Wow, this is a sensational piece, wonderful word choice and rhythm to this piece... well done
Karen -
very goo
-
Great poem; I like how it progresses from speaking, to singing, to crying, to painting.
The third stanza is my favourite - you used great choice of words and sounds which complement the actual meaning.
'I painted you on canvas' - ah yes the amazing cathartic qualities of art. You've expressed that feeling well.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
-
Do you see what I mean when I tell you how good you are at writing!!!!! I'm not sure if I ever will be able to write like the way you write. I write more like in a blockbuster style verses in a grammy style. You are truly a poet and should publish your work. I'm very confident that you would outsell anything I put together! Congrats on winning the Gold. I can see why it won.
Ted E
-
Last line "persuading"
Apart from that, this is an excellent write and a pleasure to read. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck in the judging. La x
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
