Drunken Creation

A crushing darkness in my heart
Trapped by a closed in feeling
Struggling for a life giving breath
And yet why should I bother?

As I lay here on my bed in my room
Relishing the warmth creeping down my arm
As it massages tenderly
Caressing and exploring my skin
Separating and spreading

A sliver of ice creates another crevice
Opening a steaming fissure
To join the tenderness flowing throughout
Shivers rip through my frame
Ecstasy…or is it really fear I feel?
Memories echo, of past anger
Of heated words burned into my soul
Lashed with hate, burdened with disgust
A birth from lust...an accident you say

And yet here I am a son you didn’t want…
My brain feels like it is frozen in time
The same words bound in a continuous loop
A heart quashed, forever denied a mothers love
Another vent opens releasing more hurt
Molten fire scores rugged gouges
Burning across a broken landscape
Salt encrusts my cheeks from tears long dry

With one final emotion I ram the sliver home
Feeling it pierce deep within my forgotten heart
Shearing it into two pieces, broken by hate
I arch and fold up as my reality flickers
All I wanted was for you to love me
But since that will never happen
I have made sure this is one mistake I can fix.

By Kindredblood