The elf hurried back with the message he bore
“My lord, it’s the army of ogres!” he cried.
“They’re headed this way and they’re moving quite fast,
We’d better prepare for a battle, or hide!”
The general moved quick, he started shouting commands,
“I need all the archers to hide in the trees!
The pike men and cavalry go to the front,
We’ll fight the ogres, and bring them to their knees!”
Elves took their positions, the ogres were near,
and soon the elf archers could see their large foe.
Arrows tore through their ranks felling many a brute
Yet still they pressed onward in row after row.
The battle raged on, many fell from both sides,
Elves bravely resisted the ogre’s attack.
The general had finally thought up a plan,
He called out in Elvish, “Pretend to fall back!”
They faked a retreat and the horde howled in glee,
Intent on the weakness in front of their eyes,
The ogres rushed forward while archers slipped past,
They shot from behind, caught the horde by surprise.
Attacked in the front and besieged from behind,
The ogres tried hard to make one final stand.
The general cried out as they ran in defeat,
“That will teach you to invade Elven land!”
Author notes
Not attempting to copy Tolkien here, this was written prior to my reading/watching LOTR.
Written November 14th, 2002
In a list
A contest entry
- Elves - (Come in and see!) by Senkura.
300 points, ended October 13, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Enchanting and Novel
An enchanting novel,interesting, and well written poem I must admit I was surprised to learn that elves were such militant little creatures although being threatened by Ogres does tend to bring it out I suppose I have written one or two fantasy poems but more orthodox. "The Tooth Fairy", A Tiny Tots Tale"
"A Little Girls Fairy Tale" etc. Oh and"The Wolf Man". I'm Glad you liked my "Reflections" but what does
"Bookmarked" mean I've often wondered...George...
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I don't see many elven war poems, so this was a rare treat. Thank you for entering!
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hey shadow I didn't think it was LOTR copy either, but a cool elfish war write. image and Visions
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Awesome
This was a cool battle poem. I would suggest listening to my "aunt's" (Master Warious) comments b/c I have to agree with some of her critics. Though I must admit I love the last stanza:
Attacked in the front and besieged from behind,
The ogres tried hard to make one final stand.
The general cried out as they ran in defeat,
“That will teach you to invade Elven land!”
LOL, I love that last line!!! You did very good and I truly enjoyed reading this piece! Good luck in the contest!
Blessed be~
Elenna -
Very Good
Didn't sound anything like Tolkien so don't worry ^_^
This was a cool battle poem. A very nice price of trickery and defeat of the enemies...you still need to put in the correct phrase in addition to your authors comments so we know you've read the rules. A formality that ust be upheld, sorry.
An excellent piece of poetry. I love a good battle.
Good luck and thanks for entering the contest. -
this was great!!!! It was very lord of the rings-ish, and thats fine. I loved this story of a battle, it was so exciting... well to me at least, but then, I am an elf-loving freak so of corse I liked this... anyways, i thought this was really great.
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I like this a lot, great work. I love elves so u may have a bit of an edge on everyone els. Great job its varry amaginative and goodluck with the contest.
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Wow this had great imagery, and the flow was great too. It is very clever! I liked it!
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awsome
YAY! I loved this poem! I also love elves so there you have it. I've never thought of elves as pikemen, or cavalry though. Archers, yes, swordsmen, shure, but this was a new one. I'm glad that I read this, it was that good! -
I love elves in battle. You've captured them in their attack against the orcs very well. Love it very muchly. Thankies for entering and may the sweetest of dreams find you! ~D~
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I like this a lot but some parts sound a little forced like "“I need all the archers to hide in the trees!" Rhyming with "We’ll fight the ogres, and bring them to their knees!” Great job though
~
][V][arissa
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Great
Wow, a rhyming battle - very original. I loved the fanatasy element of the orcs vs the elves in this piece and you wrote it wonderfully. Excellent. -
Very clever battle plan indeed. It does resemble LOTR but so what, you did a great job of planning a battle. Great imagery! I love this kind of stuff.
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In this line: 'Arrows tore through their ranks felling many a brute' I feel you should use another word other than 'felling' and the use of the word 'fell' in the next part doesn't help 'felling' any.
I never got the impression from reading this piece, that you took anything from Tolkein.
But, I did feel it was too short. I do not feel it should be as long as LOTR books' but, I do feel there is more story here.
A nice piece, that I feel could use some improvements.
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interesting..... yet.... idk nvm just know that i like it. lol anyway good job, good write and good luck. keep up th good work.
*!batgurl~ * -
excellent
The elves clever of most. Reminds me of lord of the rings. I like how the battle was played out. Your word choice and rhyme were excellent. great job.
sincerely,
lIssA
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