She stood alone for all the world
upon the free and open shore,
upon a promontary there
awash in lonesome thoughts and cares.
The breeze fell gently on her brow
as she stared alone into the sea.
I stared upon her, rife desire,
and wondered if she felt for me.
Her billowed hair would fall and rise
along with surging, storming tide,
and I stared in rapture, hung with care,
at the perfect woman standing there.
Her eyes determined as she stared to sea,
and knowing nought of fools like me,
and I alone to contemplate,
a love too vast, desire too great.
I stared in secret, I confess,
and marvelled at her form and dress.
And hands on hips, she surveyed the sea,
alone with pain and not with me.
She stood alone for quite a time.
Her thoughts were hers and mine were mine.
And when at last the Sun set low,
she sadly turned and made to go.
I watched her move from the highest place,
and saw the sadness on her face,
and I never knew the reason why
she stood alone with sea and sky yet never I.
A contest entry
- The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1709 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - And I screamed "I love you" but you just walked away... by August Starlight.
775 points, ended February 12, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Feel free to re enter the contest, but I am DQing you on account of you obviously did not read the rules.
Next time, please be sure to follow them. -
Sad, but beautifully so. Great write, last line is a little odd though. Thanks for entering the conest.
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Beautiful and sad, very moving
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Very good write here
If we were to know of all those who admire us when one feels so lost would our hearts mend faster for such love shown .I wonder.Great write here
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You cast quite a spell with this poem. It has the style and strength of a Longfellow or Frost poem. I think the third stanza is my favorite, but it's hard to say. Really excellent work.
One question - did you mean to change the rhyme structure in the second stanza?
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sorry... I clicked this earlier by mistake [stupid mouse] so you deserve these
sorry
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Another Masterpiece
I can't imagine how you must feel, the satisfaction, after writing something as great as this.
It swept me up from the first verse into the vision I could so clearly see of this beautiful woman amidst the smell of the ocean.
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The emotion behind the poem is good. I like the idea. But there were words in places that threw off the rhythm and the way it was written makes me a little angry, if that makes any sense.
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It flows well and the metre is tight.
A very good write you have.
Good imagery too.
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