Lustro

Lustro

the stage is set
the lights have been lit
i walk out
and the colors take flight
everything surrounds me
in flames of love and hate
my skin burns away
i see the bones emerge
and smiling i kiss the boy
watching as my life
passes me by
and the song on in the night says
he traded his place
in the war for a place
behind bars
i heard the wind the silence
say
if you knew the pain
i've felt inside
the self hatred
you tell me i'm self absorbed
and i'd look and admit
staring in the mirror
as my pasts reflection
turns out to be my future
I shouldnt have asked
You shouldnt have told
We shouldnt have gone
I knew this would happen
I scream in repetetive agony
Why do you
why do you did he did and do this to me
I tear at the skin
that covers my body
Blame myself and mentally
I FADE
I loose faith and trust
Am I just a toy?
Am I gullible or are you fucked in the brain?
How could you?
I pick up my heart guts and mind
one more time again
one more self surgery
Pick my mind away
Sewing up the pain
Putting the emotionless faceless expression
Yes I am fine.
I'll be alright
I just relived betrayal
for another point in life
Love is now my suicide
Its messing me up
Its like war you know
And if you never felt love before
Then dont say things just happen
I have to trust again
I dont have to do shit for anyone
Now I have this desire
To murder someone I never saw
Never met never will communicate with
I want to slice her throat
I want to laugh as her heads pushed under
to drown
Is this wrong?
Its not her problem.
Its yours.
Is it my fault?
Fuck that shit.
I'm sick of it, I put everything into this
I gave you the one thing I didnt have
Thought youd never be the one to do it
And look at this fucked up thing you did
I go on day after day smiling and in heaven
Inside I want to scream and cry
tear apart her throat rip and pour salt in her eyes
I look out at the lights
They change color
I shrug my shoulder
What do I need this life for?
I dont know.
But once again the thing keeping me here
Is killing me, in the slowest most painful form.
The sun explodes my pupils turn to ashes
Forgive. Forget. Forgive. Forget.
I can't do it.