Before you,
My life was like an endless night.
An infinite cycle of New Moons.
Though I could see the Stars;
Points of light and logic.
A billion reasons for me to keep breathing;
Keep Living.
And then you appeared,
A fiery meteor shooting across my sky.
And suddenly everything was on fire,
Lighting my Life, setting it a blaze.
Exposing me to such color, and passion.
Such joy.
There was brilliancy,
And there was beauty.
And then you were gone.
Fallen beyond the horizon.
And everthing's gone black.
Nothing has changed
But I'm different,
Blinded after your light.
I can no longer see the stars,
And there's no more reason for anything.
A contest entry
- lost in the DARKness by theDARK1.
335 points, ended September 3, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I like the metaphor used to describe how quickly a wonderful "thing" came and went, and your excellent description of words...
"An infinite cycle of New Moons" ← very cool.
This is written exactly how it feels mentally and physically.
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Amazing picture painted.
Well, this is a real eyepener of a write. A very cleverly crafted piece of writing. The subject matter is intensive, leading us to follow the lines of a lost passion searched for, only to see it appear, and disasppear. Leaving an empty blinded feeling of existance. Quite a sad write, dark to some, but still a very good written piece. Good body of text, and usage. Well done. I like this.
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I loved the way you create this extended metaphor-like poem. I think this is on a great start but puhaps you can give more imagry to really spice it up a bit. I think this will help take this people over the top. To present a beautiful image of what that meteor looks like and make it a metaphor of this person. You can choose to take my advice or not, just a suggestion of what I think would take this poem over the top. :-)
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a wonderful picture painted by your words as i could envision everything in my mind from start to finish. a meteor was as impressive as some of the night time showers i have seen in my own time, DARK.
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good write
i like it, very well written indeed
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Well written
Not really my kind of subject matter but very well written
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good poem
I enjoyed this poem very much, as said earlier it was very well written. I like the end "Blinded after your light. I can no longer see the stars, and there's no more reason for anything." I thought this summed your preceding lines nicely, and commend your efforts!
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Whoa
You too have a new fan 
This poem is amazing, showing love as such a quick and beautiful experience as a meteor showing you unreal beauty and then falling out of sight. It's awesome how you had such happiness in the beginning, and then it fell drastically. Awowsome
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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Dramatic images and narrative!
I can see the meteor's blazing path ... then disappearing ... leaving you different somehow, and wanting more.
"A fiery meteor shooting across my sky.
And suddenly everything was on fire,
Lighting my Life, setting it a blaze.
Exposing me to such color, and passion.
Such joy.
There was brilliancy,
And there was beauty."
Good analogy for a passionate love that comes into one's life ... and then is gone. Though there is pain in the leaving, there is usually something wonderful left as a remembrance too. And though momentarily you "can no longer see the stars", you know there are billions in the heavens, that will eventually light the darkness. And like meteors, love will eventually come along again ... if you just keep watching and remain open to the vision.
Enjoyed the read! Good luck in the contest.
....JustBreathe
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Thank you!
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