Drinking in your form, I am lost
in the shifting of your body as you gracefully
move around me. No other power
could hold me like the beauty
of this most primitive of dances
that reveals true human passion.
I close my eyes, but the passion
does not cease when my vision is lost.
I hear your feet move around me in a dance
long lost to modern man who knows little of grace
and thinks a pile of coins displays true beauty.
He knows nothing of true power.
Your lips touch mine, no power
on earth can control the passion
erupting into life. Nothing is as beautiful
as this love, nor so easily lost.
I gaze into your face so full of grace
and fall deeper into this dance.
Your eyes reflect emotions dancing
across your soul. Such powerful
devotion reveals to me a grace
never before encountered in any passionate
caress. I cannot help but lose
myself in those deep pools of beauty.
Every level of you holds such beauty.
My heart flutters, my soul dances
as I bury any thought and lose
all thought in the flow of your power.
I call out your name in passion.
You are my saving grace.
The gods could not be as graceful
as you, shifting and weaving in beautiful
steps that induce a response so passionate
even the angels above are moved to dance.
I long to touch, to hold this power,
but such desire will result only in loss.
Filled with passion, this fiery dance
Calls forth a power born of your immense beauty.
I am lost in your immortal grace.
A contest entry
- "make my heart swell" by second-born.
600 points, ended September 9, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold is Spoken for! Prewrites allowed! by intanglio2ring.
450 points, ended October 7, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Fall In Love by piccola.
1000 points, ended October 14, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Describe Your Love? by DancingQueenAngi.
425 points, ended November 9, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Impress Me by Monkei.
1000 points, ended November 19, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gentle Love by Celticjedi.
600 points, ended December 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Quick and gorgeous. Great job. Thanks for then entry!
Cj
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Gorgeous! You imagery was astounding and breathtaking. I could feel the passion behind your words. Wonderful!
Thank you and good luck in my contest.
Angi -
Uh oh, I need to rewrite my entry. This is wonderful. I am in awe of your beautiful write. Best of luck in the contest. I'm off to do some work!
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Good luck in the contest!!
This is so beautiful!
And the comment where you were proposed to
were they just kidding???
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Thank you. I assume they were joking. After all, I am only twenty.
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i love the feeling expressed here, it flowed well and i thank you for your entry, will you marry me
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Thank you, ma'am. And...pardon?
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Lovely!
A very smooth read!
Thanks for a great entry - You've moved very well with your dance in words!
Tang
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This is a good, strong, passionate piece that does not loose itself to the passion along the way, keeping it's focus. Far too often we loose sight of not only the simplicity, but the true power of passion and what does, or what should evoke it. Far too easily we get lost and controlled by the material and to be honest, it starts to drag us down and taint us.
This piece reflects that very well. Good write and congrats on the bronze.
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Wow…this is such a fantastic poem…I got lost with its passionate and beautiful stanzas…it seemed so magical in a way…
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