Deep pools of reflected eternity
Break wide the walls of a mighty bastion.
Crumbling blocks with utter impunity,
Rending all bars, releasing all tension.
Exposed to blinding brilliance ere unseen,
Hating the darkness but fearing the dawn,
The wreckage remains tranquil and serene
Until it shifts under sinew and brawn.
Out of the depths a tendril climbs higher,
Pushing aside the obstructing remains.
It struggles to embrace the raging fire,
Shrugging aside ev’ry restraining chain.
Blossoming out of twilight’s embrace
Enveloped ever in resplendent grace.
A contest entry
- an upsurge of points by monkus.
950 points, ended September 13, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Impact #7: Shades and Tones by between slices.
400 points, ended October 4, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Lady by Liquid memories.
525 points, ended November 19, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I need HOPE by yourbentangel.
400 points, ended November 19, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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while I like this, I found it a little too abstract for me. If I go back and read it again, I get it.. but I like to feel something the first time I read through....
I do like the message and thank you for entering... good luck -
tjhank you for your entry. it is appreciated. success.
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ooh.. that's a lovely piece you've thought out! i love how you can relate so many instances with this.. that of hope from the dark, that of love, and that of spiritual enlightenment.. the "raging fire" adds to the image of kundalini fire when all the chakras of the human body are opened and you feel so energised.. that happens during meditation.. one of the higher stages..
i like how you've washed this over with the many tones and shades alongside emotions.. blue, black, grey, orange, red, green... hope, fear, determination, strength, emptiness, grace, freshness... and many more... this is a beautiful piece. i like the wordings too... the images are vivid, and the snapshot has been captured well..
well done!
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i like this although it seems, to me, to be slightly disjointed. nicely written meter and intersting rhymes in stanza 1. thanks muchly
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ooooh nice imagery!!!!!! it makes me happy..... tis is great!!!!!! Although not really sure what its about.... but that happenes often so it has nothing to do with you...but i do like big words...and you used big words!!!!!!!1
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