Jade green fields of unspoken trust,
rolling...entwined within.
Transcending into a swamped
sea of orange petals.
Unleashed memories...
Like the thickly settling
morning haze of self deception.
Bringing forth an aeon
of an angels punishment.
Removal of thought...
Caught between two worlds,
teetering on the brink of sanity.
A tightrope walk, faced with uncertainty,
balancing between the coma and the lies.
Author notes
This is my first attempt at an abstract poem. I don't know if this is what you are looking for or not. I know that it probably could have been longer but I did not want to ruin what I have.
It is also inspired by the Lacuna Coil album "Comalies"
for anyone who is in question of the spelling for aeon, I have a link that explains it....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeon
In a list
A contest entry
- For top poets in "Poetic Challenge" round 5 (bonus round) by luckynsincere.
600 points, ended August 24, 2007, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is really cool. I like how you used the title of the songs in the poem. That's really awesome. I also like how you used comalies. It's very creative.
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Thanks, this one took a while to come out.
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Great imagery here, really left be in a beautiful darkness that I could only endeavor. I like your choice of words too, they really flowed well and the line breaks added to suspense and apprehension that the reader is left feeling.
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Well done my darlilng! I found this inspirational as ever! I always enjoy your work, and this is why. Hun... you are a piece of work!!!
Mel
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Exquisite is your poetic pen
you're always a delight to read and enjoy.
Roses to you Lobo
Teresa
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Oooooo
i really like this,
i havnt read alot of abstract poetry, but this is really great,
it draws the reader in with clever and deep metaphor and leves you with that sense of awe at the end
wonderful write my friend
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Nice poem my dear, I like it, especially the last two lines
A tightrope walk, faced with uncertainty,
balancing between the coma and the lies
Good luck in the challenge.
I love you much
Elizabeth
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wow. aeon is actually one of my favorite words. this is a lovely poem, i can read all sorts of things between the lines. isnt wiki wonderful? i lurve it. wow, i just read the poem again, and i truly love it. bookmarking. thank you.
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Wow!!
I will say You brought for some Magnificent images and me, Oy~
I'm having to pick some brains to get my piece done for normally I don't do a lot of abstract
Love the picture and the words You have used!
I'm still trying to find my head
so this inspired me to do so~
Wonderfully weaved!
Me likes this one
Transcending into a swamped
sea of orange petals.
Best wishes to You in the contest busy bee!
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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