it's been a series of years and dates,
missed appointments and hidden
rendezvous.
i've had a million complications, and a handful
of bitter home- made remedies; taking anything
that would offer me a cure for this little, misshapen imprint
of yourself.
oh, you used to make me think of things,
and you used to take away from
my deepest, troubled thoughts.
now you're nothing but the hallowed- out reflection
of yourself.
and i'd like to think of this
as something that could have been avoided,
like some blazing, crippled accident
on the corner of north and devonshire.
but i think that it is nothing
than the wind, the sky and other things
too beautiful to see;
it's unmistakably desirable.
and it's too bright to ever see
without the ring, pretense and delicate holding
of one's breath.
i've wept for you, these years.
you're still too everything
to me.
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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i've wept for you, these years.
you're still too everything
to me....
exquisite as always. it's been awhile since i've been on. so lovely to read you once more. how have you been? -
i rly like this poem. it talks to me in a way. good job
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after that poem of yours i read last night i just had to come back for more and im blown away!
'i've wept for you, these years.
you're still too everything
to me.
that is beautiful. i find al your poetry intriging its so different than any other style ive read before. i think your brilliant so yet again well done xxx
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I'm so happy to be seeing more poems by you, rather than.. paragraphs, lol. Your poetry is art; passionate and profound.
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"now you're nothing but the hallowed- out reflection
of yourself. "
I love this line so much b/c i've felt that way about so many people (including myself). It's like a person can be everything you need in one moment and then everything you hate in the next, they can be your muse or a torturing memory. the emotion you share here is gorgeous. -
excellent
very nicely written and full of emotions as well!
thanks for sharing!
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thank you very much.
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very good. your poetry always stands out from the rest. i dont feel this was your strongest piece, justin, but it was definitely a moving poem nonetheless. i love your use of linebreaks. you have got the down to an art.i love the last stanza. it is so true and i love that. peace out and god bless.
Doug Cundall
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i like this umm nice writing skills... you can go very far just keep at it ok
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wow...this has my heart pounding. This could be said with my voice too. Beautifully done. My favorite line, among many, was: "misshapen imprint
of yourself."
For reasons I can't go into, I love that.
Well done,
Creatress
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wow, thank you very much.
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Ah, this is a sharp and poignant piece..
Seems to mean a lot more than anything else I've read today, even though some have been fantastic writes, this piece has a simplicity and a mourning to it that is geniune..
I have hardly read anything on here recently, I've hardly been on. But I'm passing time tonight so I can finally be on properly (my results come out tomorrow)
xxxx Well done, impressive write.. x
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i've wept for you, these years.
you're still too everything
to me.
OOOOH, BLOODY BRILLIANT. yeat again another piece of yours I totally adore. keep writing!!
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darkly honest, me likes
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thank you very much.
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Wow, very real and powerful emotions presented in this poem along with lovely wording.
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thank you so much.
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If it was less creepy, I'd be in love with you.
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thank you
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Oh god... Melt my heart more, please. The last stanza was more than perfect. Wow. Just simply amazing.
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thank you very much for adding me to your favorites, and for your really nice comments.
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This is fantastic, and is made even moreso by the number of poems of this genre that are botched. It's such an identifiable, on-the-surface theme that it's done way too often to be any good but for a few times, this being one of them- you've managed to avoid all the clichés and craft something beautiful about something ugly.
Very compulsive to read, some powerful imagery, some witty turns of phrase, all of which should be in your entry for my contest, hint hint. C'mon- at this rate I'm not even gonna have the twenty I want to progress to the first round, lmao.
Great job here Justin
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i am going to try and get one in soon. i will be thinking about it tonight. thank you very much for the comment and encouragement.
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Haha, you're definitely welcome- thankyou for giving me something awesome to read.
And please, PLEASE do- consider this pleading. I want twenty people for my next round and currently have, like, twelve. I'm DESPERATE for entries. More specifically, desperate for GOOD entries- I'm yet to be blown away. Hence, get writing. Lol -
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i shall attempt tonight/ tomorrow.
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"you're still too everything to me" That is so simply beautiful...
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thank you so much.
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"
like some blazing, crippled accident
on the corner of north and devonshire.
"
Yuo continue to astonish sir, with your excellent wordplay and imagery.
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thank you very much kevin.
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