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Paradise


Christmas presents
passions
burn veins,
prophesizing blessings,
heaven's scent
inhaled.

Utopia's visions
give feet flight,
ignoring
the whiff
of brimstone.





Author notes

"One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough."
- Josh Billings

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • maggiejamespoet silver member
    August 19, 2007

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    Wow--read this one several times and really enjoyed it! Great take on the prompt and I also like your author's note.


  • StarEyes
    August 18, 2007

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    I have to agree with Amera. You have penned something here that more people should remember and hang onto. What a great job on this one! Best of luck in this contest!


  • poetryality silver member
    August 18, 2007

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    I think there may be one too many "s (es)"

    "passions burn veins" or "passion burns veins" may have worked better. That little part had a hiccup that made me pause.

    The poem itself lends to the reader many levels of reality. Do we say yes or no to the spirituality that beckons us, especially at Christmas time? That time of the year is a burden to so many when it should be a joyous celebration. Do we wait until we know for sure what will become of a changed life? Your poem yields many questions. The second stanza is haunting. An excellent entry in this contest.

    A wonderful take on the prompt here Poet. You followed all the rules to the letter. Thank you for this entry in my contest. I wish you the best in all your endeavors.


    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


  • delightfulmess silver member
    August 18, 2007

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    Very simple and wonderful love the last part.
    Sometimes the joy will overide little annoyances.
    Great job.


  • Amera gold member
    August 18, 2007

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    In a simple short verse you have penned a thing of beauty. I love this and it's something to always keep in mind. Simply ignore the bad things in life and relish the good. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera ♥

1 - 8 of 8