I stood in the rain today.
Wanting to drown the emptiness
and cleanse the cinders of your death.
Instead it drove a pounding on my head.
That stirred such a sensation.
I swear if I opened my eyes
you would be standing before me.
In that September painted field
drenched in your wool coat.
Your nearly forgotten face
beaming in its wistful glory.
Eyes of the Sedona desert
holding me fast in their questioning gaze;
wondering why I dropped the conversation
we were so deeply immersed in.
For a moment I was swimming
in that missed emotion of contentment;
in a moment before the ugliness crept in.
Blissful was that forlorn feeling as I stood
drowning in hallucination raindrops.
Author notes
I lost my best friend comming up on four years ago now. I find it never gets easier.
A contest entry
- Closes Sometime by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended September 22, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Delaying the Inevitable by Exodus.
300 points, ended August 23, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter any silver or bronze winning pre-write!! by freestallion.
450 points, ended September 12, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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somwhow saying i've been through the same just doesnt seem right, for you or myself. words are only worth something when they mean something.
may peace find you and hold on tight. -
A lovely poem full of longing and beautiful images & allusions. I do love to see line breaks though, since playing with those can really enhance the way someone reads a poem. Keep writing! Thanks for entering my contest.
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Please left align this poem according to the contest rules, or I'll have to DQ it! Thanks!
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Captivating
Captivating piece with a nice flow! Thanks for sharing
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very nice opening and "For amoment i was swimming in tht missed emotion of contentment in a moment before the ugliness crept in blissful was that forlorn feeling as i stood very nice ending i like this alot
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losing someone is never easy, and holding on to the special memories hardest still, time seems to wear those special thoughts down, till only when you are sitting and reflect do they suddnely come flooding back, and the tears become all to real, warm and comforting, comemorating someone so special.
Beautifully written so compassionate, tender, and a truely heartfelt tribute to a friend now passed on, though forever a part of your heart.
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you are really on the roll with these very intrigueing pieces penned very well here.
Thanks for sharing once again, and do continue to share with us.
Epif
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I really enjoyed reading this poem it was very intresting and the words you used to describe seemed to flow together very nicely i liked the last stanza.
Blissful was that forlorn feeling as I stood
drowning in hallucination raindrops. by the way I love the title it seemed to capture my attention from the very beggining good job!!=]
~Ocean~
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