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Silent Noise

Missing image



The silence enabling my fear
Discontentment  filling  the air
Unable to move
Unable to breath
Reasons being thrown around
I try to make sense of it all
 
 
Drawers opening and closing
Closets squeaking and slamming shut
Staring into nothingness
 as your shadow paces back and forth
 
A click of a suitcase, the sliding of a zipper
The jingle of keys tossed on the coffee table
The turning of a doorknob
Footsteps down the hall
Hating  these sounds
I seek silence again



In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Knight70
    October 27, 2007

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    simply beautiful writing...

    I love the intensity in this piece. Every sound comes alive in silence. I love how you have different emotions play off one another. Don


  • Faded silver member
    September 24, 2007

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    Oh my gosh. I'm sorry sorry! I hosted this contest a while ago and I didn't realise that I hadn't commented on your entry.

    I love how you took silence and noise and played them against eachother- the jingle of keys etc without any background noise portrayed to make the sounds appear that much louder and that much mroe significant. And then you turn back to silence... magnificent.

    I like your position in this as a narrator, observing the scene first hand as the other person. you comment on actions not undertaken by you and yet it's your own stream of thought.

    ~Faded.


  • Whoochi gold member
    August 21, 2007
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  • poetryality silver member
    August 20, 2007

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    I hear everything you've written through the silence. Sensory perception is played out so very well in this poem.The graphic art is complimented by your easy flowing poetry. This is an excellent poem that exhibits a noisy silence with skill of pen. Beautifully melancholy and so very well written.

    This should surely place in the contest as it is what poetry is all about...Intense Feelings, and Emotions.


    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


  • Mykeee
    August 19, 2007

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    This was good. Even though you didn't list any anger, the nervousness and finality was there. you can feel a disconnect from the two characters as one paces and one leaves - nice job ~ myKey


  • Amera gold member
    August 19, 2007

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    WoW! This is wonderfully scary, the flow and word choice drive the reader into a deep state of discontent. You do the dark genre so well. Great read!

    Love,
    Amera ♥


  • tawk gold member
    August 18, 2007

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    How memories can echo in our minds after someone is gone. What a sad and very emotional write. So full of wonderful imagery.

  • x-Black-Butterfly-x silver member
    August 18, 2007

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    wow this was full of so many emotion that were painted the whole way through
    the imagery was strong and vivid and i loved the write
    well done and best of luck


  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    August 18, 2007

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    Wow! I love the mysteriousness and frustration
    you wrote about in this one. Your title definitely
    caught my eyes. Great imagery and work with your descriptions here. Thanks for sharing this and good
    luck to you in the contest!




    Jeremy0826
1 - 9 of 9