♦ Ropes hang in the air,
while everyone waits for the elevator
Mindless, soulless
Waiting on Jesus
Oblivious of these invaders,
while I wait around to meet my makers
♦ Generating justice ♦
Replacing Moloch's owl with love's Eros
Creators reunited as the earth is freed from tyranny
Fulfilling an age old fantasy to live forever freely
Finally facing our fragmented selves without gloss
♦ Generating harmony ♦
But first, seemingly sudden chaos,
entropy, and calamity must be
A cleansing ejection of old suppressing scars,
births an escalating ethos,
that will take us to the stars ♦
Author notes
When doing research into the new world order, you will repeatedly come across information that the 'Brotherhood' pulling the strings has a serious loyalty to all that is evil (by definition).One of the ancient and now well researched deities that was and still is worshiped by the 'Brotherhood' is often symbolized as an owl and is referred to as Molech (sometimes Moloch).
And we are all familiar with Eros, the God of Love. Let love prevail!
A contest entry
- For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
----------PLEASE COMMENT, POINTS ARE PRECIOUS----------
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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fucking awesome beginning to the poem "while everyone waits for the elevator" is possibly the best line i've read so far in this contest. brilliant. i can't say enough about it.
the rest of it is good, though i don't understand the point to the bullet things. i also don't really understand why you capitalize the first word of some lines and not others. for example, i just have no clue why "A cleansing ejection..." is capitalized and not the lines before or after it. well thank you for entering this and be assured this is a finalist and will receive more extensive examining before this contest ends.
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They aren't capitalized because of the commas. Its one complete thought/ sentence broken up for flow.
thanks for your comment and being a finalist! whoo!
the stars are just there for fun, curse me for my improperness...is it too girly?
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Very creative
You expressed your creativity throughout the poem. I found it interesting how you placed a heading before each stanza. I've never seen that done before. Gives me a fresh perspective how I can add a different twist to my poetry. I like the way you displayed your extensive vocabulary in line #8 by saying "tyranny" instead of power. Possessing an extensive vocabulary enhances a writer's story telling ability. Redundancy is a sign of a limited vocabulary. Review poetry on my page and give me feedback.
Good job! -
all encompassing
these words remind me of our lady peace, i hope that doesn't offend you, they are one of my favorite bands. you do a wonderful job putting poetic language to such a heavy topic. nice job.
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"Mindless, soulless
Waiting on Jesus"
I love how this flows.
Wonderful write -
this poem was wrote very beautifully. it sounds great. i love the way you have it worded. keep up the good work
~*~Angel~*~ -
♦ Ropes hang in the air,
while everyone waits for the elevator
Mindless, soulless
Waiting on Jesus
Oblivious of these invaders,
while I wait around to meet my makers
this stanza is great THe poem is excellent good word use the poem has a feel thats easy and smooth to read
Good luck in your future writes look forward to reading more
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The wording is very nice. There's just something about your phrasing that makes this poem sound great, but I can't quite put my finger on it! Nice alliteration, nice work! I really like it, especially your wording.
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This is awesome. I can understand most of it and the few shady spots I can assume on. Very well written and well thought out it seems. It seems you really know what you're talking about here. I guess my emotional responce on this would have to be... well theres really no emotion I feel because of this but there is emotion I feel for this. I absoultly love it. This is a very great poem. Great job. This is such a great poem that I know there has to be others as good and better. I look foward to reading much more of your poetry. Really awesome poem.
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So very deep, dark and powerful write love the form and your words are truthful I enjoyed the read...
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I'm a little lost on the subject matter, so forgive me if I miss something obvious in the 'meat' of this piece.
The opening was my favourite part, but that's not to say it was downhill from there. I just like that image. It's surreal and the background serves to emphasize that well. The emphasized portions were well selected - almost like a mantra being chanted.
Nice work. -
Very interesting.
I am not sure what to think. This is so different from anything I have read. The words confuse me. Some of it makes sense other parts confuse me. Overall it is interesting though. I tend to think that even in my ignorence of just what this is trying to say, that the title goes with the piece. The first and last lines work very well together. -
lovely, you're a master of imagery and poetic devices. Great background also, it greatly adds to the effect!!
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Generous.
Your words from you here rang a bell so clear. The things that you said hath my heart yet fed. I see from this write the source of your might. They that serve are not part of the fight. Each is their own. The winds have thus blown. Watch for the sights. Now longer in fright. A window has opened. A sound is now heard. Clocks and calendars are set. The now is not yet. One moment is now and another is then. When all are in line. A new epoch will begin. Thank you. I needed this right now. Rich.
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i'm not sure i comprehend the meaning you were trying to portray to the reader, but the way i understand it, i like it alot. very well written.
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Hmm, i dont know if i understand it the way is supposed to be understood but i do like it in my own world of things that makes sense. Il ike your style to, very cool
<3 -
rebirthing???
I believe in a Higher Power...and life begins and ends with just one breathe...
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