It is ok to remember the family
as they tried to be
when the grown ups dressed for weddings
and the children washed for church
the flush of good behavior
that met the traffic
of the best of times,
the buzz of greeting
waiting to the point
laughing with cheeks as red as nectarines
each a take of moments mirrored
and stored somewhere.
Author notes
Call me "Dad"
A contest entry
- Antique Photograph by micol.
800 points, ended August 23, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Family by Short but cute.
400 points, ended January 6, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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DADDY! Ok love the poem lol
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Congratulations ...
on this well deserved bronze.
Kindest regards.
Myra
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I much like the casual tone that constrasts so effectively with formality of content and photo. Punctuation is a bit inconsistent, but the poem does a fine job in focusing on images (especialy in the final lines) that draw past and present together. Well done.
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I suppose every generation has always looked backwards to believed enriched life styles.
Yet I can't help but relish this authors nostalgic trip into the past myself.
This piece points out the sometimes forgotten sheer pleasure of simplicity.
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This poem speaks of family values, and they still thrive in my household. But this poem does make you think, great job!
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warm memories of family retained, a great write and what a stunning pic s thankyou for sharing
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definately an excellent job. a lot of emotion here in the words. well written. thank you.
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I think its nice and i think that you really put alot of passion into it!! Great job
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Great picture...is it some of your family?
Those days are long forgotten and we need to remember them for what they were..."the best of time's"
"when the grown ups dressed for weddings
and the children washed for church"
loved those line's!
darlintlc
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Nicely written and the message is touching.
I long for simpler times I didnt know becuase of my age, when the world was safe.
You got to see those times, and you transferred that well to me as a reader
Still diggin' your wor MOH
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wonderful thought...great first lines, nice flow of words and the ending is so fitting.."moments mirrored.." Loved it
...I needed this tonight as I go to visit my family..take care ~Michelle
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This was a good piece. You painted a very vivid picture with your words. Every line just pushed me on to the next.
All and all a very enjoyable poem
Well done.
Keep up the good work. -
Goodness...this makes me look forward to Thanksgiving sooo much more(note sarcasm). My family is far too worried about appearances, and that is all I can remember them as, what they tried to be. Good write. It really shows the diversity of the idea of "family."
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very good
"What is your your first impression?"
love
a family, a unit, an example of all that is good
your imagery brings up so much
waking in the morning
sharing the bathroom, breakfast, dinner together
saturdays shopping downtown, the hustle, bustle, quick lunch, ice cream cone, the bus home
weddings, cousins sweet sixteen, princess (aunt katy's dog, new year's eve wioth aunt santa and uncle tom, a trip to aunt lu's, uncle nick and au.,...............
whoa, you got me going
splendid write
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The trick here is to indicate just enough to create the image; and the temptation is to get lost in the memories. I so appreciate you comments. Some of us have some rough spots that cloud the past. I emphasiszed "...as they tried to be."
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with cheeks as red as nectarines,
each a take of moments mirrored
and stored somewhere.
It is indeed very sacred verse .you have really introducing the enlightening concept of the life yes that is family inded ..Your flow of the sentiment is a key to understand this beauty of life which is known as a family and to understand the
role of ours to live with it as well..I am really touched with this great prayer of life..a beautiful work...
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Such a very touching write of the way things were. Very well spoken! Thank you so much for your entry!
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Awww This was lovely!
A beautiful use of words and fine memories!
I loved this so much!
~Lisa~
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