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Layer

Someone chopped my palms

and said these were lines of fate.

Who gave you the right to declare

what tomorrow holds for me?

I'm no soothsayer. 

I just see life

layer, layer. 

 

I can't live how a Magic-8 ball

would like me to live, on it's terms.

"No chance"? It's just not fair!

I'll turn the world upside down

like the ball, but I'll get there

even if I have to peel off my palms

layer, layer.

 

Priests and pandits can chant! 

I don't need alms, I have arms.

I won't beg and call it a prayer.
And if there's God,

it's me! And though the atmosphere

is of doom, I shall accumulate victory...

layer, layer.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • frownsnfreckles
    December 31, 2007

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    although this sounds strong, there seems to be an undercurrent of self doubt where 'layer layer' the peeling away for the truth, almost rings as 'liar liar' but perhaps I am reading too much into it. My favorite lines are....'I don't need alms I have arms. I won't beg and call it a prayer' just that little hint of desperation, when one wants the truth but doesn't want to compromise oneself.


  • rite
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    One thought of comfort might be that the balls are thrust off the the table into dark, depressed pockets after being set up for head on collisions or confrontations with walls. At least the opportunity to peel off layers gives us hope to one time find the answers we so desperately need, even if for a long time it results in agony only. Keep peeling. Take care,

    U

  • Rajaram
    September 25, 2007

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    mmm Awesome poetry piece. I love the refrain "Layer" that has been laid all over the poem. I like the last stanza to a great extent. It is amazing and enchanting as well.


  • Chet W.
    September 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    Good poem, and I like how you used the refrain.


  • life goes on
    August 24, 2007
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    Your poetry has changed a lot. For the better. I like it now, as a reader, not just as your Kibbs.


    • Raazi
      August 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      A lot has...so has my handwriting...I guess it's like the whole "patronus" thingy. :/
      erkkkk


  • sounds like rain
    August 21, 2007

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    I love this poem. It has a great message, and I like the repitition of layer, layer...it adds an interesting bit to the poem. The idea of living life for one's self, without regard for destiny, fate, or even God is just something amazing to me.

1 - 7 of 7