Blue air thick with night,
as misty moon takes flight
blackening space in shrouds
amidst escaping moans beneath.
Grey silence of sharp audibility,
unrests the heart with promises
devouring comfort of companionship
from lucidity of dreaded mind.
Red engraved feelings of unworthiness,
pluck at linings of hopefulness
holding sway over thoughts
promising sanguine yearned confidence.
White light unyielding foundations,
reassures resurrection of soul
nurturing desires stealthy passing
prospects of healing future claimed.
Author notes
So many are at loss and feel they can no longer cope - seek out the opportunities - no matter how small they are - you can be a winner in the end. Winning lies within the self.
In a list
- Bronze Winning Poems • next in list
- Silver Winning Poems • next in list
- Contests • next in list
- Thoughts • next in list
A contest entry
- The Lonliness of the Human Heart by angel alone.
525 points, ended September 1, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's a Neustart (new start) OPTIONS... by TwiztidMaggot.
600 points, ended August 23, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I don't see anything in this poem that applies to my contest. Please remove and enter a new one, or explain the relevance. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I'm tired of DQing pieces in this contest.
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I am sorry that I annoyed you. I will remove it. Frans
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Hi There FransB,
"Blue air thick with night,
as misty moon takes flight
blackening space in shrouds
amidst escaping moans beneath."
I enjoyed the imagery in this stanza, i've been there!You chose a brilliant vocabulary to set the tone very well.
I always love a hopeful ending also, yeah your prety good for a new comer lol
Slan Dolores x
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Lady Ireland
Just had to read your comment again! lol...you have a way to keep me humble.
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I love this!
"Blue air thick with night,
as misty moon takes flight
blackening space in shrouds
amidst escaping moans beneath"
A beautiful way to paint the setting at the beginning! I love this to pieces! Best of luck in the contest!
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Even with the author's notes I could not connect with this piece. There is a wonderful way with words but this comes to nothing because I lack understanding. Sorry.
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quantumsurveyor
If I read you correctly, it is not that you lack understanding, it's more my inability to conveying what I mean [still very new at poetry and need person such as you to give comments]. In the 1st stanza I tried to portray genuine physical environment and feeling of the individual; 2nd stanza: the interaction between I, me and myself re mind [thoughts] and feelings -incompleteness; stanza 3: the yearning for a hopefull outcome to feelings and thoughts of alluding hopefullness; and in stanza 4: claiming what and who I am, as this leads to healing and being able to see even the minute on which I will be able to build. Thanks for your comment and a big sorry for using space for this explanation!
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"
Red engraved feelings of unworthiness,
pluck at linings of hopefulness
holding sway over thoughts
promising sanguine yearned confidence."
Well done. I can really relate to this poem.
Good luck in the contest,
Creatress
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Creatress
What a lovely name! Thank you for your comment and good luck wishes.
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I dont know what u mean exactly. You speak a lot of things. It feels like an inventory. Balance is an habit more than reality. And the truth is seen from every tiny corner of the universe. I mean the real truth from extreme responses to extreme situations. Companionship is usually next to you unless you label the situation as a compulsive truth teller. What i think for your poetry.
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I appreciate your comments. It is a usually a journey to achieve mind over matter and over feelings to be able to move towards truth in one's life and to path a clearer picture for the future. So yes, I think that you have grasped this.
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so intersting the words chosen seem full of omens yet the overall tone seems quite positive and uplifting, a paradox of sorts, very skillfully done...PK
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Thank you. You have given me deeper insight into my owns words!
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This is a very philosophical piece, and it holds in it many questions that we have yet to answer. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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cool so true love the sentement in this poem and it flows really well
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dead and bleak
Thanks for your comment - I appreciate this. Will also be reading some of your poems.
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