Hey Romeo how come you’re looking at me like that?
There is blackness in your haunted eyes;
I’m scared the softness won’t come back.
Hey Romeo slow down your steps; marching on over this way,
Careful of the jagged thorns that are caught in disarray.
Hey Juliet who said you could be looking at him like that,
Like a wing torn angel walking into heavenly combat.
Hey Juliet I know you work it the way you do,
This isn’t a path of roses, fuck you bitch we are through.
Hey Romeo remove the venom from your lips,
Remember last nights tempest; the warmth of our abyss.
Hey Romeo you just be careful what you say;
If my heart shatters there will only be you to blame.
Hey Juliet take this moment to look down the barrel of our life,
Want to ride the bullet, take the last shuttle into the pitch black night.
Hey Romeo you know you want to kiss me one last time
How could you forget my breath even after I die?
Hey Juliet did I ever tell you I get lost in your eyes,
Your right without you, I would never be alive.
Hey Romeo, hand that gun over here.
Hey Juliet it’s losing you is what I fear.
Hey Juliet why are you looking at me like that,
Like a woman chasing demons; the blackest heart of life’s regret,
Hey Juliet, baby what’s happened, what the hell went wrong?
I thought we ended this craziness on a new age love song.
Hey Romeo, you know you shouldn’t have done that.
*BANG*
Romeo, Romeo where have you gone?
Juliet, I have drifted to the heavens to sing you a song,
I will rain you with purity in the softness of the dew,
I will clasp your jewel like features until you follow through.
For your beauty will forever capture the wistfulness of time,
Our love can stretch past the mountains of the Holy Divine.
You are the sun the stars and the regal moon.
My Juliet I forgive you
*BANG*
Author notes
Three Thankyou....I wasnt sure about the swearing but I can remove if it offends
A contest entry
- hard to impress judge, you know you want it. by Stormy Sky.
440 points, ended August 30, 2007, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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cool
i really like your new age view on Romeo and Juliet i enjoyed it i don't really like tragic stories but i like yours congratulations on wining bronze
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wow. this is a really interesting take on the Romeo and Juliet story - very well done!
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That was so amazing. I was completely lost in it. It was incredibly emotional, and tore at my heart. I love this so much more than words can even discribe.
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so intense and strong!cheers
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Hey Juliet why are you looking at me like that,
Like a woman chasing demons; the blackest heart of life’s regret,
Hey Juliet, baby what’s happened, what the hell went wrong?
I thought we ended this craziness on a new age love song.
Oh Hell Yeah! Your amazing poem is the perfect example as to why I love poetry! IT FLOWS! IT HAS EMOTION! IT HAS CREATIVITY!!! IT MAKES ME SAY DAMN! WHEN I'M DONE READING IT! Thank you for writing this!
~Dommi -
amazing
you are a genius!
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wonderful
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Wow this was such an intense poem that just keeps the reader reading and wondering what will be said next. Great write and I believe it deserved more than a bronze! Keep writing.
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Wow he entire time I'm devouring the lines as if I was going to die. Absolutely wonder write. Keep that pen writing.
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A powerful scribe that just flows down the page. I love the layout of the poem, the flow... everything about this. Wonderfully written, the images, powerful... the voice, amazing.
Congrats on your bronze, and thanks for sharing... I'm sad that this hasn't got more attention
God bless -
Thankyou for the wonderful comment...glad you enjoy
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What a great piece and more than worthy of the bronze trophy in my mind! Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to you. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use.
♥ Touchof1der -
oh no, i love it! you could remove the cussing if you want, but you don't need to! I love it, it still holds the love they had and at the same time exactly what i was looking for! I love the *bang* you put in. simple, but added a whole new effect. oh, good write and good luck in my contest.
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