I woke up
and the world was perfect
It rained glitter
and there were no droughts
Wars had ended
Enemies danced two step
and planted trees together
on their grandparents graves
Famine and poverty
were forgetten
the rivers were milk
the land was honey
I woke up
and everything was
perfection
So I made toast
(with peanut butter)
Author notes
Should the last two lines be seperate or should it be 4 lines then the toast line by itself?
A contest entry
- Just write a poem allready by badddgirl.
1050 points, ended August 18, 2007, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Innocence by bananasfoster42.
380 points, ended August 18, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - End of the World by alexandrathegreat.
550 points, ended September 2, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A contest for everyone by wingsofgold25.
600 points, ended September 1, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Universal Peace by aslanlight.
1000 points, ended October 28, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be ready for real CRITICISM........ by algoressister.
500 points, ended November 11, 2007, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ehem! by warrior-eagle.
300 points, ended December 10, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 19 to 25 enter your best prewrites Judged by RedwingSpirit.
850 points, ended January 17, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that Silver into Gold by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended February 2, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Appocalypse by Darkside11.
500 points, ended February 5, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems of the end by AnthonyLavin.
400 points, ended February 10, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - describe to me your land of milk and honey by deep space.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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i really think this is just great,a pleasure to read,but i would have chosen tahini on my toast opposed to peanut butter
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That is what my boyfriend said. Damn alternative spreaders! Next thing you know the commies will have overrun us. Best put that kind of wild spread back in backward countries where it belongs.
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well this is definately different than all the other poems i've gotton, but different can be good...thanks for entering and good luck
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I've killed with kindness, much in the same way I over watered my basil plants.
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this is very nice I believe the title is a song. Congratulations on all of the trophies.
Thank you for taking the time to enter this poem into my contest I wish you the best of luck
Redwing Spirit
ps I forgot to tell you to enter another got distracted by my kids. Sorry -
This poem is nothing like I expected. I thought it would be depressing, but it wasn't. Ha! Anyways, I think overall the last two lines are definetely my favorite. Although I have to admit I was a little disapointed that you poem wasn't about Armegedon and all that. Sigh. Anyways it was still a pretty good poem
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On my first read through of the poem, I thought the ending was amusing. Somehow, it does seem to fit the mood that the rest of the poem created. And here I thought it was going to be a sad poem judging from the title... I thought the poem was unique and intesting. Not at all what I was expecting. Good job.
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LMAO!
LMAO!! so freaking funny!! omg so i mad toast with peanut butter is my fave line im still crg up!
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I rli like this kate
its wonderful
the end of the world (as we know it)
the title really grabs the reader's attention believeing iit will be a sad poem but its really light-hearted.. its wonderful and simple!!!
the world shall be like this.. Utopia.. everyone happy everything beautiful, perfection
..xo!!
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This is a unique theme
I love the simplicity of it and the idea of enemies planting a tree together was fab. Best of luck in contest!
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Hi,
Well....this was very refreshing......your lack of punctuation was consistent and therefor not distracting......spelling is great......subject interesting.....I love the image of the enemies planting trees together....and the ending was a trip.......really how would everything being perfect change the breakfast menu.....your humor is outstanding....and I appreciate the break....Thanks for your submission....I hope you won’t be disappointed, I’ve been shredding people all day and it is exhausting......TTFN.......Love Laurel -
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I'm sure I will survive without harsh critism, though I was kind of looking forward too it.
But hey, well I don't know how hard it is shredding people, I do tend to like to right long nice but still pointing out the bad bit comments, which do take it out of me. So I understand.
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So cute! This is a delightful poem and a much enjoyable read. Congrats on the silver! well deserved!
Peace
Debbera
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This is the most perfect peace poem I've read so far and I love the peanut butter touch, I'd leave those lines as they are because you're making a separate statement in them and you want to grab the reader's attention with them. An excellent poem and you brought a smile to my face and I just read it again and wow, another smile! I could keep reading it all day and never stop smiling, now I'm getting silly!
Peace Georgia
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This is a very creative poem that you have written here I definately like the imagery you painted upon my eyes with these words and the metaphors you have used are wonderful too!
Unfortunately, a world without war, famine and poverty is only something we can only dream of... If only this utopia could be true one day, huh
Well written!
Leander -
Very Creative, and sweet, lol loved the part about getting toast and peanut butter
Awesome Write, lol and look you won the Bronze! Good Job!
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This is a wonderful write and I adored the ending! Nothing like toast with peanut butter! A wonderfully written poem. Thanks for sharing!
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Now this is an end we would all like to see and savor I am sure! Wonderful thoughts indeed! Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to you. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use.
♥ Touchof1der -
I enjoyed reading this well done.
(( and yes I think the last two lines should be seperate from the rest.))
Thank you for your entry and Good Luck in the contest.
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I like how you said the end of the world is perfect peace...
without problems, big and small, comes no emotion...
just a barren soicety of bland perfection...
also, peanut butter and toast rules
~hippie -
I think the poem is fine how it is no need to change it
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peanut butter and toast go very well together thanks for the entry, though I don't know how it applys to my contest. It sure did make me smile.
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Isn't your contest about the end of the world? Well I tried to make this poem about the end of our world, our world is full of war and horror, instead of destroying the world with famine and war, I destroyed it with kindness and plenty, just try to mix it up a bit, I get sick of doomsdaying
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wow. this is definitly interesting! (and oh how i love peanut butter toast!) thanks for your entry
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Maybe one day this world will be like this, long after my time I am sure.
This is very unique, I adore your words and you for having such a wonderful way of which you would love to see this world.
Thanks for entering!
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Mmmmmm.... Peanut Butter. If only I could get some decent peanut butter in NZ but anyway back to the comment. I love this! If only the world were like this. Except for the milk and honey, allergic to both.
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Hehe this is gorgeous! I love the way you always manage to spread sunshine to everybody's day. If only this poem was the truth...love the last line. Thank you for making me smile!
Madison xoxo
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