Sullen clouds hang low
Heat presses down like an oppressive hand
The air so thick and humid
I could swim through it
Everything is wilting
Grass, trees, birds and me
Then – plink!
A drop falls on my nose
More come
Freckling my arms and leg and face
Running in rivulets onto the grass
Beating a staccato rhythm on the pavemen
I look up to the patchwork gray sky
Eyes squinted against the rain
Nose filled with the scent of fresh earth and wet asphalt
I spin and spin in dizzying circles
Feet dancing
On the wet lawn
Wet hair flying
Like a flag
Then – crack!
A bolt of lightning splits the sky
Like a neon snake’s tongue
And thunder follows
Loud as a giant’s snore
I watch
The rain pelt down
As the treetops wave
Like a silent sea.
A contest entry
- WRITE! by xorandomxo.
800 points, ended December 16, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #3 OPTION CONTEST (: by Walk-Free.
650 points, ended December 27, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
beautiful imagery- simply wonderful work here, loved it from start to end.
'I spin and spin in dizzying circles
Feet dancing
On the wet lawn
Wet hair flying
Like a flag'
what a beautiful image. I loved the flow, and the passion that flowed through this piece. wonderful work!!
much love,
char
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Great imagery in this poem, and I loved it
I imagined what it would be like. Such a hot and humid summer afternoon, when suddenly it starts to rain! What a refreshing feeling it must be (: But you gotta find shelter because the rain becomes heavy..
My friend is a true lover of rain. She'll dance away no matter how heavy the downpour.
She'll love this poem (:
Good luck and a blessed New Year!
-
You capture the energy--potential and kinetic--of a summer storm. The poem re-creates the stages, each infinite-seeming in a sulty afternoon; and then the storm. Images work well--"neon snake's tongue" especially. Good work with simile.
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