He sits there, on the other side of this screen
Can't see my reactions, can't even see my face
I think about him, sitting in that chair
If only he knew, the things I dare to speak of
He is so sweet, but I can't tell him things
I hide things, like he is my enemy
Can't let him know the game plan
It will kill him and he will cheat
Cheaters, liars, what is he?
He seems so fake
I don't know what to expect
I want to expect the best
But truly is he it?
Can he be the thing I am searching for?
I just don't know,
What do I do
Do I tell him the truth?
Can he handle the truth
He is such a small boy
In a cruel world
Frightened, doesnt know what to do
I stair through the screen, hoping he never finds out....
The things I do
Author notes
written: 8-16-07
Something different again. I like this better. It is one of my best pieces I think. Tell me what you think. I like it.
A contest entry
- ♥Drop The Dagger And Lather The Blood On Your Hands, Romeo!♥ by On Frail Wings..
550 points, ended August 25, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Time For You To Take A Chance ~ Round One by Tears and Raine.
320 points, ended January 26, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Sounds like you fell in love with a musician and you're an "indie" chick, but I could have taken that the wrong way. The screen metaphor was very powerful and, although I might not grasp it completely (as its meaning seems to kind of shift), I took it to mean that you live almost like that you have two beings. Have you ever read steppenwolf? If so, then kind of like that. Maybe one part of you, the part that he knows and that people know and the girl that others picture when they mention your name and your image essentially is the part that he knows and can see, whereas your past and hidden secrets and skeletons and introspection is another just as if not more real part of you that creates the "screen".
Let me know if I am close at all sometime maybe. I can relate to your description of how he seems fake and you don't know what to do, though. Good job.
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Nice write, Gift.
I really liked this poem, because it has its mystery and it has its undoubtables. I especially liked how you never said who 'he' was. No names mentioned in this write! The poem also flowed very well and I liked the style.
My favorite verse:
He is so sweet, but I can't tell him things
I hide things, like he is my enemy
Can't let him know the game plan
It will kill him and he will cheat
Nicely written and keep it up! -
wow...this is good. really deep. impressive. i liked it a lot. good luck, this is a good write, thanks for entering.=]
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