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"Jack and Jill who lived on the Bayou!"


Jack and Jill lived on the Bayou
they played together every day
as the years few by
all other children grew up

and other worlds went to try
these two thought,
"Leaving ain't what we want!"
their families said, then don't!

SO,

Jack and Jill remained on the Bayou
and had a wonderful live
with Jack as the husband
and Jill as the lovey wife

they had twelve little children
and lived the old Bayou way
they were happy and their love overspilled
all their bellies were kept filled
until Jack didn't come home one day

all neighbors from the Bayou joined the search
it started at the crack of dawn
the old lady next door
said to Jill,  "I told um don't go.
Ya know, the swamp signs I know, fo sho!"

"The day had a chill and my knee ache I feel.
He didn't believe a word I said.  No reason look fo Jack.
He ain't coming back. The gator belly last night he filled!"

Author notes

8/16/07 Contest on twisted fairy tales: Some words have been misspelled intentionally as an attempt to make the words sound like the feature character.... "fo is for for, sho is for sure, um is for him and the word ain't was used for the same reason...

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Mercury Rising
    August 17, 2007

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    A very twisted fairy tale indeed and a real pleasure to read. Best of luck in the contest with this wonderful poem.

    David Michaels


  • edit my world.
    August 16, 2007

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    yea..i thought they were related... ... lol i still loved it though


  • Marctheman
    August 16, 2007

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    nicely done, but i have a feeling you talking about incest, not too sure, but i remember a book about jack and jill they were related to each other. but i like the flow of the poem special the ending.

    great write


  • LadyOfFate
    August 16, 2007

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    odd, and weren't jack and jill brother and sister? those poor kids. but nice twist. gator got to eat!


    • jacbgd2 gold member
      August 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      They are not brother and sister in my poem, although, I have seen brother and sister live together and have children before. I was a department manager at a facility for the mentally retarded some years ago in LA., there was and entire family of siblings there because of incest. Not just brother and sister but also father and daughter off spring!!!!!!! Sad case , the worst case I've seen in my career!! There was a sister /brother couple who lived deep in the woods near the city where we lived, they had one son. I think their father and mother were also related some how.. Their son was retarded and so were they.... Remember too that long ago riches were kept in the family of rolality by family inbreeding!!!!
      But, in my poem they are not brother and sister, not even related! Don't you think twisted and odd give basically the same results?
      Thanks for the comment on my poem.

1 - 5 of 5