Come up here
Where no one can hurt you
or harm you when your asleep;
Where you are surrounded by lush green leaves
Come up here
Climb the branches and reach the sky
And with every moment that passes you will see,
There is Safety in the Trees
Come up here
And forget reality,
Let time stop and breathe a sigh
Of relief as you climb
Higher away from your troubles
Come up here
And tilt your head back;
Gaze up at the stars
Like you never had before
Come up here
And believe
That there is Safety in the Trees
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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a whispering poem
lovely as the poem grows into gentle calling where trees and its green leaves are a place of solitude..
"a lovely calming effect"/// the last stanza could be broken into 4 lines as "come here
and believe
that there is
safety in the trees
You don't have to capitalize the words "Safety" in the "Trees" ..
Original weaver you are..
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Thoughtful.
I like this poem for the simple way you describe things here. Only suggestion is in the structure. I see the images and think were this poem written so one either felt things building up or drawing the focus in by using fewer words for simpler ideas and more words for those of more depth.
Here is something for you.
I climb to see
I climb to be free
From those there
That may not care.
Way up here
Vision so clear
Miles can I see
Yet they don't see me.
Feeling some mischief
I whisper some words
They know not from whence
The words are heard.
Up here on my perch
I can look far and search
For those that might
Ease me down from the height.
I used to love climbing trees as a kid. Thank you for this, it brought back fond memories. Rich.
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Intriguing opening stanza. It got my attention. I'm wondering who would hurt the person in the first place.
The second stanza further elucidates the first stanza. But I'm wondering if this poem will develop further.
After reading stanzas 3-5, I feel unsatisfied. You have great lyrical ability, but there are too many questions unanswered. For instance, why the metaphor or trees rather than something else? Whose safety is at risk? Why the entreaty in the first place.
I feel if there's a little more explanation, this poem could be more satisfying -
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thanks, I'll try to add more explanation
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I Liked this poem
My first impression is that it takes me back when I used to just that.Iloved it all therefore there is no unfavorable part. Emotionaly I would like to be able to do that again.There is no awkward spots in this poem. "Safety in the Trees" what else would you call this poem, it's about this subject it makes the perfect titleThe first line is the best lead in it could have. The last line says it all beautifuly. I would not change any of it for it says everything adaquately as is. I liked this poem very much.
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