You asked
if I would always
care...
As long as leaves
still curl to base
in season,
shooting stars
are lost in space,
past reason,
fleet rivers
flush to seas
so wild,
narcotic pollen
succours bees
beguiled,
as long as moon
lights lover's face
so bright,
and climber
fears not task
nor height,
while flowers bloom,
so strong
their scent,
true love's words
so sweet
are meant,
while Death
it blows not me
its kiss,
and dark
does not
embrace abyss,
till then my heart
for you
shall swell,
till last
is heard of
lone church bell.
...This I promise you.
A contest entry
- My Secret Wicked Crush...PW and More Points, as Promised... by JinSays.
900 points, ended February 14, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Fiesta! - For my Favourites - by Never Fall in Love.
1250 points, ended March 13, 31 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel again by lilblueeyesmine1978.
300 points, ended March 23, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Oh my sweetheart.... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended July 2, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Fantastic
Such soft passion and melodic whispers... And yes, that powerful promise at the end, for all the beautiful things that commenced. A heart-swelling piece, filled with the kind of love in harlequin novels, and voices of olde. You've captured a splendour not many can begin to describe, and so eloquently. I'm sure that my endless rambling has told you by now that I quite thoroughly enjoyed this, lol. Congratulations on the honorable winner trophy. A diamond of a write.
~S.
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You are sharing your heart in the words..and I feel a warm remmberance in the words..a wonderful work my friend.....
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What a piece!! it made me melt♥
Love the rhyming... -
wooooooow.so romantic so incredably cute. this is..wow!!!very special. wow u must really love her...that was amazing.take a look at mine when u have time x
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and dark
does not
embrace abyss
God, I hate love poetry so goddamn much. Though the way you put this and your other love poem I read quite a while ago just makes me fall in love with the poem itself - what more can be said?
Never ♥
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Ooh...this is splendid! It just draws you in, from the first words...very nice.
I absolutely adore the comparisons to nature, playing on the innocence of a flower, or the dependence we have for the Sun...
Yes, this spoke to me, as I'm sure it did for whom it was written..
Thank you so much for entering my competition. Best of luck to you,
Jin
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you're such a deep person.. take care of you! you're amazing
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i read it many times and i can tell this is one of the best love poem i ever read in this site!
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very touching
a wonderful peace dear.. i really felt the depth of your words.. it is so deep so touching...
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As I read this for the third time, I realised something...I have so missed your wisdom, your thoughts, your words of love. Well done my friend, this piece is simply stunning, perfect in rhyme and meter
Cathy
♥♥♥
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How beautiful and full of love. This is something we all wish to hear someone say about us. A love so true and deep till the end of time.
Such lovely imagery and heart felt.
Excellent!
Love
-
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mery good
what an enchanting verse
as i read it
it just flows
your imagery is superb
nature, love, death, heart
you really embraced so much -
Great flow, rythm and rhyme in these lines - filled with vivid visual images as well - all about love and it's forever lasting kind.
. Rewarded 4
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AWESOME!!!!!
A stunning write; a forever kind of love. Gonna have people lining up to hear you say this! Fantastic write.
. Rewarded 4
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Beautiful
your poem is superb but what really made me to read your thoughts is your poetry ID, CAMUS...I am A Great fan of him and when I read on your page, "Religion means nothing to me and I totally and utterly disbelieve in God. "...I want to say, hello brother..you are really Camus.
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Well done! This is the first of your poems that I have read so I don’t know your style yet. This poem is a lovely read and is different in the respect that it is an emotional and passionate piece yet the structure makes it a fast read and a hard hitting poem. It has a staccato meter and flows very rapidly.
Love,
Amera♥
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You wrote such a moving peice of your heart on this poem .
Its very beautiful !
Nicely penned with such devotion!
~Lisa~
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Embracingly precious
You captured the very essence of love and devotion in this embracingly precious poem she is an extremely blessed lady to have your heart.
. Rewarded 4
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I loved the images. They're so gentle and yet so powerful at the same time. I loved the last bit especially. That was amazing. The devotion and love pours over this piece like so few...poems of emotion. I can't bring myself to call this a love poem b/c to me the term 'love poem' evokes corny and hoaky images and this piece is anything but. As always and excellent poem that I will come back to and enjoy repeatedly
. Rewarded 8
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till then my heart
for you
shall swell,
till last
is heard of
lone church bell.
This I promise you .....
very beautiful, it almost made me want to cry. such love and devotion, its amazing some one can capture it, i know i have never been able to....
great write
♥♥lauren anne♥♥ -
>>As long as leaves
>>still curl to base
>>in season,
Beautiful images.
>>as long as moon
>>lights lover's face
>>so bright,
>>as long as climber
>>fears no task
>>nor height,
The verses in this stanza seem too long, too wordy. It interrupts the flow you had going.
Overall it's very pretty. You have very nice imagery and it really makes you think. Thanks for sharing.
-mandy
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Oh My Gosh, I Absolutly adored this! I loved how it flowed && just how you could paint a picture in your mind! && The rhyming and just the wording! Very wonderful !!
. Rewarded 4
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