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- Elemental Hands -

Missing image

 

 

 

Stream with stones near waterfalls
sprayed mist as speech
in vines embrace with taste of trust
on hungry lips where life took walk
to search for Soul;

while whimpered sounds
waved wish in bloom
through curve of hill’s empowered height
up tranquil stare each step feet tread, 
as traveler journeyed,  joy in heart.

Long days dimmed candle
lit for light into night’s bosom
huddled close with clothes from beams
celestial clovers
sewed at every point it made;

a kiss to keep in earthen box
of Angel’s cries with tears turned gold
and placed in pouch worn round swan's neck~
another treasure trove to keep.

Template nature needed most
to duplicate sun’s song in day
within moon’s cradle, crest at night
stained cream where clouds
once danced on stage.

Pirouettes in mountain’s moan
with echo etched down shoulders length,
skies skipped in beats to trace shadows
where family found amongst wild things.

Heart as blanket,  blessed with touch
by soil’s smile outstretched for miles,
Spirit walked,  worried none;

eternity entrusted
within elemental hands
.




  

 

Author notes

Prompt:
Leave No Trace

20-50Lines

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • ceegeeess
    September 12, 2007

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    WOW

    ur_whatyouthinkur,but your are much great than you think, my sweet friend! The imagery, the metaphers, the flowing words picturesque made me read your poem many times and the words are still lingering in my mind.Thank you dear for sharing.Reach much greater heights my sweet Desire


  • penman gold member
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Oh my sweetness, the picture you painted is beyond words. Truly fantastic. Congratulations on the honorable mention.


  • wolfspiritguide gold member
    August 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful soft journey onto nature's nuance...


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    August 17, 2007
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    PURE GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a beautiful way with words that sparkle geniusly....


  • kaibab silver member
    August 17, 2007

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    Wow is power pulsing pen
    in sacred journey to feather line
    in awe to etch a flower's voice
    as trumpet raise orange to sign...

    this is simple wonderful...and again I am having such gifts of wonderous entries


  • poet2angels gold member
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful entry, my friend....
    Lovely imagery and metaphor....Language is so pretty and unique...

    Beautifully done!

    Lynda


  • Master Anarchy
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I Lack It! Well, almost...

    aaah...I be Bladerunning near you again...
    ******************************************
    First, I look at the form, but dimly do I perceive.
    Next, a rhyming step, at the end: if glances do not deceive, I receive no such impression, not even sub rosa noeticum.

    So, I go on and read the Desired thing...

    Alliteration time!! Know my mind lights up, and open to receive as a cup, filling from above and below, I go. With the flow!

    Nice reduction in pace of lines 4-5, 1st stanza.

    "foot" rather than "feet", at line 9? But the poetess' sublimity has increased, as the alliterationing yield's goodly euphonies that please the mind and elevate the brain: so I forbear, and go on again.

    "stare"? or was "stair" meant, the reader to supply a parallel allusion of his/her mind? (Perhaps suggested of the suggestive title?)

    "traveller" - double 'l' in the spelling.

    "lit for light" - and I thought they were lit for warmth. (They sometimes are, in squats I have known, and el'where the lights be blown, and no heat otherwise).

    The subtle form of stanzas 1 and 2 is not easily carried through by anyone, and so is it here. But never fear, say I to I: this is good.

    Not even in 5 lines per stanza by the fourth.

    Still, the pace slackens, and the form doubtless suits, or my mind's ear be wrong.

    Go on, go on in thy strength, and turn not back (lest page be blinded from sight!).

    You could write Serial Hallmark Cards with stuff such as this!!

    And indeed, the diminuendo "leaves no trace".
    (But: what does the transitive verb 'found', of 'family' betoken, pray tell? Lest trace be left in questioning mind: or does it mean that 'family found (stuff) where 'skies skipped' and 'pirouettes', or is it mountains? - I like the lack of surety, 'echoed'? Still, this is a trace, but no disgrace.)

    Cheers,
    Light Love Liberty Life,
    Master Anarchy.


  • Mari Goes gold member
    August 17, 2007
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1 - 8 of 8