i thought no one was listening to the ripping of my heart valves, seeing the stain and constellation of veins that ruptured soon thereafter. i was alone in death, which is the same as falling alone in love. one blanket of air and time without a bottom; a soul- less expansion where the only winner in the world is the one that didn't want to feel anything at all.
i moved too quickly for my own good, throwing affection like it was rice and this was our wedding. but the wedding never came, and the shedding of attraction became more painful than the changing of my first- born skin. so bare, so felt; seeing light for the first time in existence.
A contest entry
- Broken Hearted by Morrigan Trinity.
470 points, ended August 22, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Your poetry is always so deep, meaningful and revealing. Three things that I look for in a poem. Well done on the trophy, it should be gold
Creatress -
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thank you.
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I really liked your last statements:
"shedding of attraction became more painful than the changing of my first- born skin. so bare, so felt; seeing light for the first time in existence"
You have an awesome sense of word choice.
Thank you so very much for entering my contest. -
"i was alone in death, which is the same as falling alone in love."
fucking beautiful.
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Wow!
This is a great write. It would make a great sonnet too, if you ever write them. Anyway, it works perfectly for me in all aspects. Can't see anything I'd change in any way. Good job.
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Powerful and passionate- which leads me to think this is yet another personal one [like the one I read earlier]. Hope all is well.
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where are you getting your inspiration. i sorely need some. sorely.
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to be honest, only through music and reading the poetry of others. i have no inspiration at all right now.
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hm. well it's working. it's great to see you writing again!
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thank you man.
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That title-- that line-- purely captivating.
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thank you very much.
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Heartbreaking and true. Your style is unlike anyone else I read.
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thank you very much man. i am going to make a point on getting over to your work shortly for a read. thanks again.
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