Crying echoes sweep
through the castle's chamber
love kept hidden tween
faded walls
an amber spot of twilight
yields a pink-mouth blotch
near the floor where last
she heard his voice.
such insolence to tragedy
when passion meets a boundary
time without count
now ashes, ashes, all
but the sun rose as usual
cloudless, blaring heat
rodents found, choking
between the old joists
and even the bell from the church
rang anyway
as if she never loved and lost
as if the clue of death
was never answered
in the last note
ashes, ashes all.
Author notes
3rd draft; narrative inspired by a true story
In a list
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"when passion meets a boundry"
thats what caught me i guess you could say, very nice
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Thank you ....it has been awhile since this one
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very good.. but i must admit your english is far better than mine so it is a bit hard for me to get the point. but i think i get the picture
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Very nice Cookie. Don't need the italics. Reads better without them. Good writer, you. Straight and true.
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Ya' think?
I'll try and see if it makes a difference.
Thank you, Sir Stranger ol' friend. Thank you for stopping in after so long.
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Much better. No need for fancy schmancy italics. Straight and true words matches your straight and true poetry.
(probably don't need the picture either . . . kind of a detractor too.)
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Sad and spookie too..Eirie words that hint at what had been.
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wonderfully vivid.. I love the descriptions you used with this... and the strong feelings it evokes.
always a pleasure to read your words (even though I don't always comment).
~Kristy
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Wow and wow
I must your page more often...there is so much to learn from you. You have a way with words and you state it as it is. The story sad and realistically conveyed. I can see it. Thank you!
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Wow... this has amazing imagery and emotion. A very strong write all-around... I really like the form as well.
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Thank you for your time and very special comment.
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