Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
 

lineage

 

 

 


alone in the high grass
silent, he waits
for sound of hoof
or paw
or bending brush

stone beaten flint 
hafted
to wooden pole

light for the hunt
received as gift

the rain
some charitable magic

he shows appreciation

makes offerings
and gestures


a subtle movement
the rush of the kill

blood spatters
his face

taste sweet
in his mouth
 

long before
we had names
for the nameless

and
armageddon was considered
a winnable war

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • catz Moderators member
    September 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To me, your poem speaks of life, of survival, of taking a life with instinctual need. A brilliant piece, A.J.

    I was especially impressed with the imagery portrayed, the acknowledgement and appreciation by the hunter, of natures gifts of light and rain.

    I enjoyed this superb write

    Dee


  • truembrace
    September 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    there is an anthropological hypothesis called the 'protein hypothesis' that had the basis of warfare in primitive times as the result of the need to hunt for animals for protein created competition and friction with neighboring villages. warfare for survival only I imagine... This piece reminds me of the earnestness of the act at the time, as hunting was not for trophy but instinctual and necessary.

    I got off of a plane two days ago and found that my only piece of luggage went missing. I sat watching security pull out the last of the cargo from the plane: large metal cases with guns used to kill for sport in Africa. In so many ways, we were to evolve, but I imagine us far better off when we had 'names for the nameless'...

    great contemplative piece Al...


  • naked roots
    August 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Loved every bit of this...especially the ending.
    Excellent writing...I really have to find more time on the computer, because I am missing out on reading poems like this.


  • Purple Pen
    August 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    STEALTHY

    Congratulations on a fine piece of writing. I was initally attracted to the title. After reading this, I have to say it was a brilliant choice. Age-old or modern, those same instincts are evident in the courtroom or on the floor of the stock market today. The hunter stalks to level the playing field or becomes the hunted. It is still our means of survival. I enjoyed reading your descriptive work.


  • mantis180
    August 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Heh, well what can I say that others havent already put so eloquently? Its a great poem, AJ.


  • ellipsist
    August 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful...

    well worth the read... I am especially fond of:

    "the rain
    some charitable magic"


  • Cat gold member
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i am that reader who reads and tries to digest a piece and if i get the grissle in my teeth i may chaw on it for several days- that's what i've done with this piece- just knowing you as well as i do i haveta figger this isn't about a hunter and wild boar- so then i begin to look at the possibilites
    could it be about dubbya?
    and the taste for war on his lips- lineage having tasted that blood from his daddy's war?-

    or could it be that the internal wars we wage
    are passed down from our parents- and this is a strictly personal write

    or could you be a cereal killer with a taste for fruit loops-

    i'm gonna guess option number 1-

    a wonderful write-

    m


  • Zayra Yves
    August 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent Al


  • katfair
    August 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    waiting for the sound of hoof
    or paw
    got me right away

    i wait for those sounds each day if i can
    yesterday at dusk on the beach
    a man brought his horse who went swimming in the ocean with him
    tremendous

    those who hunted or do for food only for what is needed only
    gave offerings
    had this huge sense of blessing for what is there

    long before you say
    is such a strong way
    this madwarmind

    rain magic is a dream in hot drought summer of fire here in California

    thank you


  • boilerjim
    August 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice words

    I really liked this but you seemed to have fallen into one of my failings. The rush to an end and a judgement. I like doing it but it is not widely accepted. What do they know? Thanks for the thoughts and words.

  • Grunts Girl
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I took a part of you work.. and posted it in here.. it is the part that sparked the deepest memory and trip for me.. I back packed around certain places in the world...I went to South Africa for about 64 days. I adored their willingness to share thier culture with me. I studied with a healer of one of the tribes there and they had the traditional festival of the hunt... I felt like I was in an episode of National Geographic. In many African traditional religions, there is a belief in a cyclical nature of reality. The living stand between their ancestors and the unborn. Like other traditional pagan religions, it embraces natural phenomenas as ebb and tide, waxing and waning moon, rain and drought and the rhythmic pattern of agriculture. African traditional religions are not static, not even within their consciousness of natural rhythms. they incorporate the ever changing actual experience, as, for example, Sango, the Yoruba god of lightning assumes responsibility for modern electrical processes.


    light for the hunt
    received as gift

    the rain
    some charitable magic

    he shows appreciation

    makes offerings
    and gestures


    I loved the title of this... before having names for the nameless just took me to that fact that the world was created and will continue to create and re create over and over and over...

    I think of your choice of armegeddon....I cant help but go right to apocalypticism that worldview based on the idea that important matters are esoteric in nature "hidden" and they will soon be revealed in a major confrontation of earth-shaking magnitude that will change the course of history.....

    and I am taken to extinction

    and like your write... so much is hidden... i can tell that reading this a few times over, I come to different places each time...

    now... the last thought LOL... is it earth shaking???
    oooo la la....

    I wish I could give this six of those applaud things
    sorry I had to just go to a little funny....

  • K-Dense
    August 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Daaaammmnnn...!

    -C

  • Redstormy gold member
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful stuff here Al, I hope you're
    talking about an animal *grin *shiver


  • Nicolette gold member
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There is something timeless about this poem...and the more I read it, the more I understood the title. And I also felt the hunter's appreciation, his offerings...something that I guess wasn't passed on to newer generations. It also perhaps shows man's need to kill...So many ways to interpret this wonderful and many-layered poem, Al...This one lingers in the eyes and the mind.

    ~ Nicolette


  • misselaineous gold member
    August 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply


  • NurseChilly gold member
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i once went hunting for rabbits when i was younger.... but the bloody gun was bigger than me.. roflmao..

    a 12 bore shotgun no less... .. was a bastard to shoot, but as I grew (not very much, i hasten to add) i did manage to shoot the bugger... but only trouble was, i couldn't keep quiet... hahahahahhah

    now for the serious stuff... this pome has many many layers which brings out the hunter being hunted and the thoughts of war in all of us...

    cleverly done Al.. i'll be back for another bite

1 - 16 of 16