I’m looking over the edge of eighteen,
caught between two worlds.
Half of me clinging to the past,
half ready to jump through that door.
I keep remembering the good ol’ days,
and how things used to be,
when friends stuck together without a doubt,
and our spirits were wild and free.
Didn’t have to worry about
what we’d do with our lives.
We laughed and played without a care,
happy to just enjoy the ride
I’m standing on the edge of eighteen,
riding down the edge of this fence.
My life has been turned upside down,
and nothing much makes sense.
What happened to being friends forever?
Somehow we all drifted apart.
I keep looking for a way to turn back time,
but I have no place to start.
Sometimes all the responsibility
is more than I can take.
Which road to follow, which way to turn,
how do I avoid a mistake?
Too old to be a kid again,
too young to be grown up.
It’s like a roller coaster ride,
and I’m trying to keep my eyes shut.
I’m falling off the edge of eighteen,
I’m going, ready or not.
I gotta hit the pavement and run,
‘cause you only get one shot.
Still I miss the good ol’ days,
but there are more to come.
Getting to have a life of my own
is starting to sound fun.
No one there to hold me back,
I’m free to pave my own way.
So many things I want to do,
life holds something new each day.
Growing up still looks a little scary,
but I am not afraid.
There’s so much that the future holds.
Here I come, so make way!
I’m standing on the other side of eighteen,
and I’m still strong, still alive.
So hurry up and give me life’s keys,
‘cause baby, I’m ready to drive!
Author notes
bah humbug
A contest entry
- Options =] by Sanity-Day10.
900 points, ended August 17, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write Whatever You Want by ShadedRose.
370 points, ended August 18, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please Enter by celestial.
470 points, ended October 1, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes (Almost Anything) by Carly Pop.
500 points, ended December 15, 2007, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold Pt. 4 by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended February 29, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything goes!! by ShaddowsDarkened.
430 points, ended June 30, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best!! by DramaQueen469.
2000 points, ended June 8, 37 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you think this poem has a good lyrical quality to it?
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Wow, I can really relate to this poem; it's stunning!
Thankyou so much for entering, and I wish you the best of luck
Maria
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YUP!
The time between leaving the safety net of childhood dreams~~~to stepping out into the world is one of lifes most challenging efforts, but can be the most exciting times in life.
You did a fantastic job on this, BRAVO!!! -
This is a good poem about growing up. I'm not eighteen yet, I'm kind of looking forward to being done with high school but then again not. Thanks for the encouraging poem!
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This is a great souvenir of commemorating those passing days when youth stayed. The tone is truly positive and mature. Growing up is indeed a beautiful thing.
Good luck in the contest.
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okay i love the feeling of 'growing up' and i can understand where you're coming from. personally i cant wait to get out on my own ^^ but anyways... your rhyme works well and its pretty original you dont see a lot of this here.. so thanks for your entry and good luck
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i want you to know my frist thought at the title was that song "edge of seventeen" i love this poem and i think you are gifted! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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a really good poem
really enjoyed reading this. it had so much truth in it, the fears of growing up, and how we look back on the past and wish for it, yet when the future comes its not so bad.
i think this is a really nice way to handle this idea and it has worked very successfully.
good luck in the contest,
keep writing,
holly x -
Lovely. This poem reminds me of lyrics. This would be a great sing! Now I'm inspired! Lol! Imagery and flow were cool. Thanks for entering and good luck!
+ Jackie -
I think this poem has amazing lyrical quality to it. This is something all of us can relate to. We all aree or were teenagers at one point. I am still at the age of 17.
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I think quite often about how when I was a teenager there was a die hard alliance with my friends, but it went away as we grew...... and I miss it... great write. thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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lol....loved the 4 silvers u got here.Nice write, Thanks for entering
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Yes it is songish
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I hear the youthful belief in invincibility in this poem.
That’s how we are in the beginning.
My favorite line is “but I am not afraid.” May this always be so.
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when friends stuck together without a doubt,
and our spirits were wild and free.
these lines bring the whole poem together.
this is a remarkable write.
keep up the good work.
Caycee.
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"I’m standing in the edge of eighteen," - going by the title shouldn't "in" be "on"?
I felt the repetition of "edge" in the 3rd part line-to-line was a bit much. I feel there's only so many times you can use the word throughout where it doesn't becoming tiring (to the reader) to read. Proximity of words used in repetition when the word is the main focus of a piece, shouldn't be so close to each other, I feel.
"how do I avoid a mistake?
Too old to be a kid again,"
I felt there should have been a break between these two lines. The second line reads as if it's starting a new verse.
It seemed as if you ended the poem before the last verse, the last verse just seems to be an echo of the last few lines of the one before it. I feel you could work on it to where the previous verse (at the end) doesn't seem so much like an ending.
A good piece, overall, that you've written here.
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tyvm for point out that typo
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You did an excellent job with this I enjoyed reading it very much.
Let me copliment you on your authors space I thought it was almost as good as your entry.
Thank you for your entry good luck in the contest -
simple and perfect. Pretty much described everything im feeling. Im jealous that my friends are making new friends and they are jealous that I am too. Everything is so overwhelming and yet exciting. Good JOB and Goodluck
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Gee I know exactly what you mean. Wow so many times I felt like ah to hell with it. But yeah I kinda started to like it... But nothing beats being a kid
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: )
Thanks. It good to know you can connect w/ what I'm going through. Thanks for sharing, I'm feeling a bit better.
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Oh what a nice place to be! On the edge!
Love~
Az
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I liked it a lot. I like the end you really pull it off with a bang! Thanks for entering.
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the flow of this is really good, its an amazing write, i especially love how you compare life to a rollercoaster as well it is congratualtions on silver trophy and a great write
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Very well done.
My first impression was the author cought what it feels like to start to grow up and face reality in a truely acurate way. Emotionly it takes me back, to way back when. I didn't find this to be an awkward read. My favorite part is all of it, therefore none of it did I dislike. The title is what this poem is all about and the first line just enhances it. The last line ends the poem in just the right vein. I wouldn't change anything about it. It sure makes us older folks remember when. A good poem.
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I don't mind at all combining options, but really this was what I was looking for in these options, this is well written and I really like the rhyme in it, so good luck in the contest and thanks for entering =]
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