Rapunzel
Rapunzel
with her gorgeous long locks
stowed away in a tower
with a window way at the top
A prince caught wind
of the fair maidens name
vowed he would find her
stowed away in a tower
with a window way at the top
horse-ridden he set off
sword in hand, heart in head
searching for the girl who was
stowed away in a tower
with a window way at the top
Rapunzel heard her hero calling
"let down your long hair" and she did
cascades of gold fell, once
stowed away in a tower
with a window way at the top
our hero struggled up the long golden rope
his great girth, his massive hide
to much for the young girl, who was
stowed away in a tower
with a window way at the top
her head wrenched back
her mouth screaming
she reached for the knife
stowed away in a tower
with a window way at the top
Rapunzel cut her gorgeous hair that day
and felt immediate relief
the same could be said for our hero
who fell to an immediate death...
Author notes
hehe i really like this one. i hope no one else has anything similar because i havent read other peoples yet (but i will of course(i have to see what my competition is)) but really this was an awesome contest (so much fun...... so many ideas)
i hope you enjoy my entrie it is of course of the fairy tale "Rapunzel" one of my personal favourites.
.... FAIRYTALES ROCK!!!
I WON MY FIRST GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A contest entry
- Twisted Fairytales! Yay!!! Come in and see by LadyOfFate.
600 points, ended August 19, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like it.
But! (Yes there is always a but!), I dislike the repetition of 'stowed away in a tower/with a window way at the top' because you don't do it at the very end! All of those stanzas you repeat it and then you don't at the end which bothers me. However I really do like how you turn the faerietale up on its head for re-examination. -
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hey whether i did or didn't out the last couple lines in the last stanza i still got gold... so whats this about a contest poem???
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I didn't say that it wasn't worthy of a gold; and I suppose I should have congratulated you on your gold when I commented...
As for the contest poem, I entered three poems into the "Silver Hammer" contest for here, and apparently will at the very least have two honourable mentions...
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Congrats, definitly Gold Trophy material. I too won my first gold trophy, on my "Circling Actions of Murder." But back to yours... Great work!
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Rapunzel is my favorite one too, but also harder to twist cause it is in one room. But yeah this makes sense unless the prince was on a serious diet he would really hurt her climbing up her hair. unless it was hair extentions she could take out and tie up but then she could escape freely.
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haha i love your way of thinking!she woulda been smart to get hair extensions because that much hair would be heavy on it's own never mind with a fat knight dangling of of it
great contest loved it *thumbs up*
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haha...this is good! not near a sick or twisted as mine, but i like it!
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awww :(
i'd love to read yours... but well i'm 14. damn that sucks.... i really wanna read it now. it's sick and twisted. *stamps foot* :'(
*sigh* well i wish you best of luck and i swear to read it when i become 15 (or is it 16?) anyway i will readit one day so don't take it out of the contest.. that way i know how to find it
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