The hills are stacked with city houses,
above and below,
as the road disappears through a tunnel.
Sound diminishes within hushed echoes.
It seems so much more
than a couple of years
since decidedly standing
upon the on ramp of escapement
from small-town views.
Now reaching the end
of this highway’s promise.
<~>
She was old
and called Tennessee
her home;
I was new
on the road to nowhere.
She picked me up out of the night
and we drove on;
Her beauty was beyond me
like a best friend’s mother.
She was watching my shy glances
as we talked away the miles;
until her eyes held mine
and a confident hand
touched me.
Somewhere on the side
of a Pennsylvanian road
I forgot all about the
high school girls.
<~>
What impresses me the most
is the limitless diversity of people
and their eager willingness
to befriend a stranger;
if a stranger is willing to be a friend.
<~>
Trees fall hard on the edge
of the Rockies;
at least for the new kid,
only three days in logger’s camp comrade.
But a skidder rolled today,
tomorrow we’ll bury a veteran
and I feel like I’ve known these people
my whole life.
<~>
Cultural and geographical changes
are superficial;
in the end we really are
all the same.
<~>
Backpack in tow
I climbed aboard
with a simple man
who spent hours
trying to sell me the Bible.
Carefully, I listened,
because every soul has a story to tell.
He dropped me off
at love’s doorstep
in the Pacific Northwest.
I became a second rate cook
for a lousy waitress -
barely out of high school.
She was exotic
with eyes to mesmerize
And I became the fool,
a puppet waiting for strings.
But boy,
could that girl dance,
may the bus boy
have the best of luck.
<~>
I could go home now
if I thought I might belong.
But the road only goes one way.
It’s not very far, but long enough
and as day light heralds the tunnels end
I am granted a view of virgin landscape.
A vast valley
without a single man-made-structure
and I am tempted to believe
that this is all undiscovered;
if not for the road running through it.
Author notes
This is not my usual writing style; but something I have always been meaning to write - thanks for the prompt.
In a list
A contest entry
- Road Trip by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended September 3, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I AM NOT SIMON by Swan song.
800 points, ended September 8, 2007, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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This is simply stunning story telling, you take us on a journey from the start of it to the very end with such detail laid out in each part. I am so glad I read this tonight. Love, C
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what an unexpected honor to have you stumble across words that are so dear to me.
thank you
ken -
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The honor was all mine Ken, this is a beautiful personal insight into your life and journey, I should be that lucky to write something this memorable. I envy you the journey and the enlightenment you have shared here.
:c C
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Wondrous
What a paradox that escapement is the freedom to find ourselves, the one we never escape. A sense of immensity unfolds in the telling.
Reading this, there is a wist within, for that courage, perhaps not always wise, to touch new experience with enthusiasm. I wonder at the feeling of soul expressed in so many different faces, yet knowing that soul is also personal.
There is familiar terrain in your last stanza, especially, and I think of the Columbia Gorge, highway and railway tunnels, and virgin woods--and the phrase from the movie title, "a river runs through it" comes to mind. The logger's camp episode leaves me sad, because it's a common story in the history of Oregon with it's rural, small lumber mill towns, familial, with that breed of rough big-hearted men who live by their hands, on the edge, with their hearts spread upon nature.
Thank you for sharing, Ken. What a treasure trove of memories!
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The tunnel leads out of Portland, Or. toward the sea but I do believe the valley is still part of the Columbia gorge or at least close enough
And yes, logging like mining has many extended victims; it is a hard life but that strife breeds fierce companions.
As for courage, at the time, I never gave it a second thought; and now, I try not to let the years harden enthusiasm for life. (though that is perhaps the hardest struggle for one who wishes never to grow up
)
thank you for reading my words
ken
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Very nice.
Pamela sent me here because I was looking for a good poem to feature on my blog. Would you have any objections to my featuring this on my blog someday this week?
poetsporch.blogspot.com/
Thanks,
J.D.
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To view life in a different environment without the comfort of parents but the mere charity of strangers seems to change one. Strangers can make more of an impact that some we have known all our lives. I always wonder why those people flash into our lives for such a brief moment. Who sent them??? YIKES!
I found your ramblings quite a poetic masterpiece with such interesting imagery as I hitchhiked right along with you. Thumbs up to you.
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thank you Scarlet, It was a wonderful journey
Ken
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I'm afraid this write is too long, much longer than I specified. I do like the sense of travel and adventure on the road.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
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ah, I must have missed that rule, my apologies.
I had picked a different shorter piece directly relating to the Frost poem but felt this was better. I will remove it and wish you well.
ken
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A damn fine piece of work. It's amazing isn't it the mysteries tha lies beyond the lights of town.
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thank you David, It is always a pleasure to be read and received well; and may I welcome you to the site.
Ken
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You leave me mesmerized
I thought your last few writes were wonderful, but this one did something rare for me, on here. It left me in total awe. You spun the tales of so many different lives, from one man's view. I have traveled all over this land and have often said the road only goes one way...funny to see that line here.
This is a small masterpiece. It had lost youth, love, pain, sorrow, and a certain insightfulness that only life can teach. You remind me of Hemingway in the style and, texture of your words. Again, I leave this page mesmerized. I am definitely book-marking this one for a later day, in which I may need to reflect on deeper thoughts.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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discovered a jewel reading this
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enjoyably read ...
I found your poem easy to read as each spotlight focused through time. Writing 'good' free verse is more of a challenge, to me, than rhyme & meter, and you have done it well with this personal poem that eyed your journey astutely. Nice sharing and the trophies collected were well earned. joy
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~is awed in breathless silence~
Your poetry takes
My breath
away...
Much further
Than ever any other
Poet that I
Ever
Had the
Pleasure to know.
You are truly
brilliant.
Wow.
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Hmm.. Dont quite know what to say about this one but I will do my best ok? I like how you describe a city like a woman who seduced you , I thought that was quite clever. They say freedom is a state of mind - this mind seems to be free and yet attached if only to people you love and care about and who care about you, and that is to me, also a form of freedom. I enjoyed reading this and the imagery and metaphor were really good.
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This read was incredible. I found so much to like about it, and it brought to mind, many, many masters of poetry, that I've adored since childhood. I'm delighted to have found your work. This also ups the bar for me, in my own writing, though I seriously doubt I have the capacity to produce something THIS amazing. I have put you on my favorite's list, I hope that's alright. please, don't ever stop writing...
jin
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This was an enjoyable write. Almost like pearls strung on a necklace, each with its own story. My favorite piece was the fourth, about the loggers camp. Several of them could stand alone as quite enjoyable poems!
Congrats on the gold and silver trophies!
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Great piece. You had me captivated throughout with your
fascinating characters and descriptivewriting.
Congrats on silver and gold!
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congrats my dear friend on the silver xxx
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Dam good I can truly relate to this poem well written well done. since i am playng the critic It is a little like prose, but guess what I'm the judge so I get to pick. Very good narrative poem!
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Great trip ypu took us on - liked the presentation too. Commented on this one before, but do not see it here - reminded me of that Garth Brooks song, The Thunder Rolls - learning all about what being a man is about from an older woman. Great golden winner here - congratulations. Liked the flow, the brevity of the lines.
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This is the strongest poem in the contest so far.
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I really enjoyed reading this it was entertaining and had also sorts of life's lessons in it. It was full of discovery and all that good stuff. I think it leans much closer to prose would be the only down side if you were calling this a poem, prose it is very good
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best friends moms can be rather hot lol
just kidding
i enjoyed this introspective journey within a visual trip and mental understandings
well done and good luck in the challenge!
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I like it it is interesting.
My first impression is of someone who is discovering the world from a hichhickers view. Emotionally I could feel a person on road to find oneself. It didn't seem awkward , as to a favorite part mine is (carefully,I listened, because every soul has a story to tell.) I liked this because it is so true and has a depth of feeling. I wouldn't change this because I wouldn't know how. The title is perfect. The first line explaines the reason for the road trip. The last line ends the poem very well. Overall I liked it.
. Rewarded 8
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I clicked because I saw this featured and did not realize it is entered in my contest I will critique it when I begin judging the contest, but please know that I am completely impressed by your metaphors and imagery.
. Rewarded 4
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VERY good!
I don't see anything that needs changing. It rambles but the speaker did too so it is appropriate. I LIKE it.
. Rewarded 4
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The poem is here in the free verse style.
Yes you have a story, but I tell stories.
Your story only shows tibbets,
where mine tries to tell the full story.
I would not edit this for you did one
awesome poem here. I love it just the way it
is my friend. This is well worded and tells
the reader just enough to make the mind
look at see the scene unfold.
You did wonders with this.
Thank you for sharing
Riftkin
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Don't change this at all, I love it! The whole piece was just amazing, man I seriously can't find anything wrong with it.
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I was there...
Wonderful snippets of life on the road. This IS priceless dear, simply priceless. ~Pamela
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wow hun it may not be your style you say but it was quite impressive and held me to the end. anymore often more than not society teaches us to avoid hitchhikers but sometimes they are the greatest story tellers of the world around us. Often they are destined to feel free on the open road of life. I have a friend who is like a "adopted" son to me and he and a friend hitched from idaho to sacramento Calif and the friend split with all the money and even tho he was always one for wanting an adventure he's sorry to say living upon the streets free as a bird as he alwasy has wanted to be since he was disowned by his family for wanting to escape the boredom of his home and city and expand his horizens. I worry about him each day. well done dear xxx HUUGS
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