Yo Night Hope let's kick it
House House baby
House House baby
All right poet, that's my woodie porch you mention
Burning House is Hilton's hotel of detention
Burning House grabs a hold of Ms. Lohan tightly
Flames into J'Lo daily and nightly (and that's no Night Hope, babe)
Will this Rico Suave ever stop, yo I don't know
Wood mixed with Portman makes mansions that glow
Burning House is the dope and the latest sex scandal
Lights up Spears' rump before waxing her candle
Dance go rush to the Burning House boom
Dropping trow and searing a Burning House moon
Deadly when the timber plays its Posh Spice melody
Anything less than this House would be a Hilton felony
Burn baby burn and you won't need no night for some hope
House' planks buckle like Katie Holmes telling Tom "nope"
If there's a problem yo the House will solve it toNight
Check out the hook, my two-by-fours give yo some fright
CHORUS
House House baby burn burn burn
House House baby burn burn burn
House House baby burn burn burn
House House baby burn burn burn
Take heed 'cause Burning House is a hot lyrical poet
Miami Beach kind of house, wouldn't cha know it
This is the House that created all the bang and the bling
Enough to make each of the Olsen twins gasp and to sing
'Cause the House's style 's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes and moves that Night Hopes to feel
Conducted and formed like a Night hoping Day
This is a hell of a concept, the Burning House lay
We make it hype and you want to step with this rap
Like Kid Rock playing the fade slice in Pamela's lap
Cut like a ranch house so fast other hom(i)es say damn
If the House's rhyme was a drug it'd sell by the gram
Open the Burning House pantry when it's time to cut loose
Look for jugs to go down with House's fresh squeezed juice
If there's a problem yo the House gonna solve it
Check out the hook while Night Hope revolves it
House House baby burn burn burn
House House baby (oh-oh) Burning House
House House baby burn burn burn
House House baby Burning House
Yo man let's get out of here
Word to your Mary Cat and Nicolette
House House baby too hot
House House baby too hot too hot
House House baby too hot too hot
House House baby
[To Be Continued when Vanilla Ice Admits He Melts in the Burning House]
Author notes
Burning House is confused why the House's Japanese flaming pagoda friends insist this is not a haiku...
In a list
A contest entry
- Night Hope by Cat.
8008 points, ended August 24, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I hope this makes Wanda laugh as much as it made me laugh! This is hysterical! Sometimes a good laugh is all we need...and each other, of course.
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Burning House agrees that sometimes all we need is a good laugh. However, Burning House also believes that sometimes all we need is very good intercourse. The kind that makes the windows shake and the neighbors complain that Burning House needs bigger walls. Of course, Burning House is not unaware that sometimes the thought of intercourse with Burning House has engendered a lot of laughter itself, but Burning House is still suspicious about why. In fact, Burning House is also suspicious about why the neighbors think Burning House needs "bigger" walls, because they are among Burning House's interests and yet also have been known to laugh at Burning House when Burning House is a vulnerable, naked kind of house in need of intercourse...
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After reading this I actually forgot how to comment, lol!! LOL, this is sooo funny and burning house even weaved the two judges into this too. Hmmmmmm a haiku... perhaps a new form of rhyming haiku
!! I can see that Wanda enjoyed this SO much!!! This is hot man - burning house hot! - yeah...! Burning house sure knows how to write smiles and giggles!
~ Nicolette
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Burning House is a rhyming type of house, but must credit Vanilla Ice for the particular metrical and rhyming tenor of this Burning House haiku. After reading the original "Ice Ice Baby" lyrics, Burning House became suspicious that perhaps Vanilla Ice has been writing rhyming poetry on AP for a very long time, because certain of the expressions and forced rhymes sounded suspiciously like those which Burning House has read on more than a few occasions in the Feature Box, and which also seem to be very popular here... No wonder Vanilla Ice called himself a "lyrical poet," because how can anyone deny he wasn't as much given the brilliance of lines like: "Love it or leave it you better gain weight / You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play" and "Dance go rush to the speaker that booms / I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom."
Yes, Burning House agrees that Vanilla Ice is the next T.s. Eliot, W.H. Auden, and Pablo Neruda all mixed into one. Who isn't sighing and squealing in delight at that very sophisticated AP rhyme.... -
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You sure made my day with this comment, mr Burning House (or is it miss..?). Actually "ice ice baby" is just what one needs when your house is burning. Perhaps this is indeed rhyming haiku-ala-rap - now how's that for a new form of poetry? LOL, yes about some of the rhyming one finds here - enough to make me sigh and squeal - but not in delight!! Crazy crazy....!!
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As Burning House reminded Night Hope, the House is not specifically a "Mr. Burning House," but the House also NEVER "misses" anything Burning House is that rare kind of house where all the women swoon and all the men look with suspicion at the interior decoration and think that the House looks oddly like a Johnny Depp kind of house in drag, eying Keira Nightly with intent nonetheless, and with probable success....
You know, when you're a Pirates of the Caribbean kind of house, it's only the captain who matters.
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Ahaaaa - now I understand the Burning House concept....King of my Castle, Captain of my Boat kind of society.....and of course, you only serve rum (I mean, not you serving rum...but being served)!
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You make me spill my coffee and my pouch it say dry clean only. You crazy house you.
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Burning House is a coffee-spilling Bear of a house. Burning House is a huge fan of such ursine beasts (and the operative word ALWAYS is "huge" when it come to this House). Burning House likes any mammal that wants to bare itself. That is why Burning House also is a Jenna Jameson type of House, in fact. A Penthouse -- a BURNING Penthouse.
However, Burning House particularly likes Bears because they don't take any shit, and they also shit where they like. That's a very attractive quality to a house that is smoldering, and also doesn't want to take any shit. Ever seen a Bear when it runs into a hunter with his shotgun aimed and primed? Instead of thinking "run!" like most erstwhile creatures, Bears instead think "Mmmmm. Lunch."
Also, how can a Burning House fail to appreciate any creature that spends half the year sleeping. I mean, everyone knows Burning House also a couch-potato kind of House.
Having said all this, Burning House would note that it also likes ferrets. But you can keep that fact between us ursine Burning House buds... Because you just can't trust a ferret to not squeal with glee when encountering either a Bear or a Burning House and go telling everyone. It's sort of like that Lindsay Lohan celebrity fixation thing, I think.
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Bear's eyes were a little bleary from his post prandial nap and he read that 'you cannot trust a ferret to squeal when entering 'etc.
The Ferret, being half of an Irish ferret himself tends not to squeal unless trodden on.
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Oh Dear. LOLOL Even a Burning House can appreciate the import of a misreading of that verb, because Burning House is, after all, an open house. The kind of House were you enter and never want to leave.
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ROFLMAO... totally brilliant and funny and brilliantly funny... and made me snort and giggle
gee.... i can just imagine you in lurex wide pants and big shoulder pads and a metal posing pouch ... dingle your dangle...
house house babbbbyyyyyyyyy yeah yeah
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Burning House is, in fact, a spandex, big shoulder pads and metal posing pouch kind of house. When you're a house everyone expects to be on fire, you need some sort of insurance. It helps to pose, and to rip off David Bowie/Freddie Mercury while doing so -- especially given the House is always "Under Pressure." I mean what sort of flamer with any sense of self-image doesn't want to dress like David Bowie circa 1975? Burning House is an androgenous house, a Ziggy Stardust kind of house (with a unit, though, and with no particularly unseemly interest in Rod Stewart or Elton John, just because Rod's kids are so wrong and Elton is now a "Sir," and that too is just wrong). A house that given its flaming demeanor brings to mind "Ashes to Ashes." A house that makes Bowie move from "Absolute Beginners" to Professional, baby.
House House baby! -
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now i can see you in drag, pushing a hoover round your bedroom with red lipstick, curlers in your hair - ahem!! hehehhe... and some fishnets... and shoulder pads as big as ya like... even with a bowie flash down your face... and ooohh i think it's all vurrry strange...
a lad insane here... me thinks burning house has gone a bit doolallydoo ...
house, house, baby baby .... bingo
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Burning House is, in fact, a drag of a house, a fishnet kind of House. A "Rocky Horror Picture Show" kind of House. The kind who while in drag, still puts the time warp in both Brad and Janet kind of House. The kind that makes Tim Curry salivate and say "In just seven days, I'll make you a House" kind of house. The kind that leaves Rocky winking, and saying "you always sleep perfectly in this house" kind of house.
That's why when the Burning House is in drag and fishnets, all the other houses in the neighborhood look like trailer trash...
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Burning House actually is NOT a full Monte type of House. You see, Burning House is an Einsteinian kind of house, and long ago recognized the expression "full Monte" is one of the all-time great oxymorons, because no one -- absolutely no one -- can ever really feel they are full of Monte. There's just always too much Monte a poet needs. No, that expression "full Monte" sort of is a term like "military intelligence," because one wonders how it ever entered the vernacular given the obvious irony of the expression. The difference, of course, is that while "military intelligence" is a curious expression, the "full Monte" has engendered religions that view the expression as equivalent to "nirvana", "heaven" or even "way better than a typical Friday with Lindsay Lohan...."
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LOLOLOLOL and the winner is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this better not disappear anytime soon young man/girl?
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"Yo Night Hope let's kick it"
LMAO You sure about that, Poet??? My feets is wayyy bigger than yours. 
What a cool penning...even though the Ice Man cometh on too strong. Never much cared for him; too much ego showin'. Well, all I gotta say is, burning house is one rockin' house. The neighbors are gonna call the law on ya for all that sumptuous noise. Thank you ever so much for penning such a passionate statement of procurement & such. Good luck in the contest...it's the Full Monte & then some. 
Wanda
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Burning House is not a young man/girl type of House, but rather a wisened god/goddess type of house. It is for that reason that Burning House, like certain Greek and Roman deities, has an affinity for trees. As they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." And as evidenced by Jupiter/Zeus, what the Roman gods did were trees. And lakes. And bushes (which is fortunately not a lost art). And just about any hoofed animal (which gave rise to certain rumors about shepards and sheep in later centuries). And of course other gods and goddesses (the birth of Hollywood). And just about anything that lived. And even then there was still plenty to do in Hades. Just about the only thing Jupiter/Zeus wouldn't do was his wife. However, Burning House is a polite kind of god/goddess, and would not let a distraction like marriage fail to cause the house to combust when the right flame is lit... And it doesn't take much to light the fire that causes Burning House to burn...
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Orrr..."jumbo shrimp". Ya know, I just gotta like such an intelligent man with an incredibly bizarre sense of humor that's even more macrame'd than mine.
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Burning House once again reminds "evening is gonna get lucky so I'm just going to call myself 'Night Hope' (yeah, like I need fate to help)" that Burning House is not a "man", except when s/he lacks the "Whoa!" to be a "woman." Rather, Burning House is that letter that is never easy to explain that exist between x and y, so that Burning House's genes are best described as "somewhere between xx and xy", which explains why they get mixed together so often and with enthusiasm, and with a nod to lawyers for teaching us how to make a profit when doing so...
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Sighhh...Okayyy...Have it your way, Poet. He/she/whatever. And my name had nothin' to do with gettin' lucky...or I'd have changed it for its ineffectiveness a lonnnnnng time ago.
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No one ever fails to get lucky where the House is involved. That's why they call Burning House "the Big House," the "Skyscraper," and the "Lincoln Log." There ain't no one who is ineffective with the House, baby. House House, baby!
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I'm sure glad you're not a condo, Poet.
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Actually, Burning House also can be a condo type of House, because sometimes you have no more interest than being aything but a time share. In fact, when Burning House has been ignited by a series of flaming tequilas and is approached by a potential occupant, that is a fairly common transformation.
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You ARE incorrigible, aren'tcha??? I kinda like that aboutcha.
Ta-kill-ya??? Flaming or not...aarrgghh. Ooohhh, Poet. I prefer Kahlua, thanks. White Russians. Might as well double the dosage of vodka while we're at it. G'night, Poet.
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