"Open up your eyes and feel alive"
Beauty said
"The time has come to leave all your pain behind"
I should have listened
Because beauty needed it too
I should have been there
When beauty needed me to see it through
In all this time
I have never seen how to survive
In all this time
I never realised how much love could shine
I should have revealed
Because beauty needed me to
I should have strengthened
When beauty needed me to guide her too
Well I was so confused
With contradiction and doubt
I felt so abused
When I felt left without
Well beauty said
"Just take your time and I will wait"
And beauty said
"Even never isn't too late"
Author notes
This was my attempt at some lyrics to get through a 'break' in a relationship. I've never been through one before and i's so scared and it's all due to me refusing to talk about my feelings. As, well, it's far too complicated to explain. When you get told somebody wants one thing, so you do it then they say they want the other, so you do it? They say they're sick of you being sad so you hide sadness, then they get annoyed that you don't open up? They want somebody to understand but they don't want somebody knowing everything about them?
The last part is me speaking.
Don't ever have the same problem as somebody else then manage to deal with it better than them, they resent you. Or you resent them.
Don't do eating disorders and if you do, realise there is help if you want it. Don't take it out on the ones you love because they can't fix you. It's not down to them and you'd only despise the loss of control if they tried to help.
Don't give up.
A contest entry
- [LoveAQuickie] by whiterabbit..
450 points, ended August 18, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Pain That Love Brings by Sesheta.
600 points, ended September 10, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Felt" poetry. ONLY by shirk.
1500 points, ended October 8, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I really liked the last line, I like the concept of never and forever. Great write, keep it up! -K8
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Where has this been??
Have I read this before? How profound you are in your writing. Wise. This is a lovely attempt, in my eyes, to separate from yourself, because someone else wants you to...and then you lose that part of you. It waits only so long, then it's out the door. So many people use that tired old cliche....Beauty Isn't Everything??I might be going out a limb here...but isn't it? In every sense of the word? We say that the inside is what counts, but is it?
Very thought-provoking work, Excellent Job,
I love the ending.
Always,
Jin

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i think it is pretty good towards a song lyric write. i see and feel the emotion you feel inside.

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I defenitly see how this could be interpreted many ways. I lovee how you wrote it so smoothly and gracefully. it's an odd choice when you decided to choose Beauty, i mean there are many different things you could have said like courage or bravery ect. I think its just perfect in that non-perfect kind of way. I reall enjoyed this
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wow i really love this, overall it is just an awesome poem, some fantastic lines, especially love the end. well done keep it up! xx
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i have been there
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wow... the last stanza gave me the shivers. its great!!!! keep it up!!!

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this is really strong, really inspiring^^ thats amazing. the sadness and love that it must have took allot to get through that and even more to write this poem.i can't concieve what that must have been like and i really respect you for writing this.


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I love the last stanza.........it's effing AMAZING!


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Im sorry that love has taken this turn on you. Love has done so much to me; hurt me, help me, betray me. Its sad, isn't it? Well I hope things turn around for you. And remember this, just do what you feel is right. If the other person can't understand you or accept what you do, then things might be better off differently. Whatever the case may be, I wish things turn out okay for you.












