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Questions

There's something about this world,
that makes me scream,
makes me cringe,
that makes it seems as though all is about to unhinge

Maybe it is the evil,
maybe the death.
that makes my breath
cold as ice

 

It all makes me wonder-

"Why are we here?"

 

Nothing seems fair,

in this world of despair

Every day is a fight,

in a world filled with strife 

 

Tell me-

What makes this life worth living,

when we're giving, giving, giving,

and receiving nothing in return? 

 

 

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • ZionnaLee
    September 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    If you're into rhyming...you're into rhyming. I personally am fine without it. Thanks for your input but poetry is personal (especially when it is stated that it IS personal) ...so I don't feel bad or whatever you'd use for this feeling of you writing that you see my poem different. I'm aware it doesn't flow. And no, I do not need it to, nor do I seek rhyming.

    Thanks anyways, Zionnalee.


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I, too have asked questions that make my head want to explode with thinking about them.Love the ending, especially: Nothing seems fair,

    in this world of despair

    Every day is a fight,

    in a world filled with strife



    Tell me-

    What makes this life worth living,

    when we're giving, giving, giving,

    and receiving nothing in return?

    ~jeremi


  • Denierim
    August 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with the idea behind this poem. I wonder many times why we're here but don't seem to find the answer. You filled this piece with emotions in a very good way, and the words work with the ideas. There were some things that didn't work for, like the rhythm nad flow, but I like the idea behind this very much and that alone works wonders in poetry.

    Wonderful work!


  • Purplemoondoll
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    Great writing with very powerful flow and imagery use. i could 'see' your emotion. I like these lines best.
    There's something about this world,
    that makes me scream,
    makes me cringe,
    that makes it seems as though all is about to unhinge

    Sets the tone and follows through brilliantly - well done


  • So Strange
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece you got here, fallenangel. It was explained and written better than your other write, and it was really good. I thought this was a poem that would get more of the readers' feelings and would make them appreciate it more, because you wrote with more passion and the poem had nice flow.

    Nice write and keep on writing.

  • ea silver member
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Trapdoor


  • Lord Dracon
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent write, nice flow and structure, enjoyed reading, welcome to AP!

1 - 7 of 7