Do you know what it feels like to be touched by a daemon?
Like having a butterfly die upon your skin.
It's the softest ink of seduction,
yet it burns and boils beneath your flushing cheeks
like needles crackling underneath your eyes.
It becomes a never ending need to taste
that soft brush of Evil's wings.
They're the palest poison imagination can brew
and they infect your ears with a constant hum
that even the sweetest melody can't sweat out.
Yet the irony of the madness eludes you,
and you spend countless nights breathing
out tears, hoping that the heat of your
daemon's stinking breath will some how
evaporate them into wings so that they may
land upon your flushing cheek and
murder the flutter of the sweetest thing.
Do you know what it feels like to kill a butterfly?
I do.
It's the murder of the sweetest thing.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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YAY!! HOW WONDERFUL
heyy there!! i loved it!! -
Beautifully written with fantastic imagination. This piece conjoured up so many different pictures and immense sadness. Brilliant!
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Thank you! I deeply appreciate your wonderful and honoring compliment!
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hmm I'm on the fence with this one, there were alot of metaphors here that i really dug into, but sometimes i felt that you were settling for a less than stellar description. However when i reached the last stanza, that feeling faded, and your ending was just perfect, once again great job, regardless of the stumble
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Thank you!!!
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Fantastic
really like this poem, got a brilliant message in it, great write. Well Done.
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Thank you!
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whoa.... After the intro I kept saying to myself, "What a way to speak" you have a way with words my friend... and the idea of killing a butterfly.... tied to the phrase, "murder of the sweetest thing" made me very sad.. of course it could also be the blue font... it draws my sadness out. thanks for sharing!
J~~~ -
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Thank you...I'm glad you caught the whole drift of the butterfly...I was painfully sad when I wrote this piece and that idea seemed to describe the pain perfectly. Thank you, once again, for the comment and the compliment!
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Interesting.
Oh I love this. A bit dark in places and yet with a hint of seduction and mystery. The imagery of this piece is wonderful. Well done and thought provoking.
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Thank you very much!!! I really appreciate your supportive comment and applause! I'll be sure to return the favor!
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Some very poignant lines here, dark and mysterious with a hint of horror. To improve the flow and look of the piece you may want to utilize some line breaks and stanzas. Very thought provoking.
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I thought about that and am not sure how to break it up. When it was originally written it was one long paragraph and it seemed to fit then, but reading through it now it doesn't accentuate the right features. I will definitely look into that. Thank you for the comment!
Cynn -
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Good luck, then, with your continuing adventure with this poem.
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