I am still keeping in my handbag
a piece of soft paper, just a serviette,
on its edge some strange flag
nicely shaped like an amorette.
I know it was already used
by yourself, to wipe your lips from that March beer
(it has nothing with the mad March Hare
although I could act the same if I drank it too much).
On a corner a few words
I tried to write
in the absence of my eternally present notebook,
a poem about clouds and sun
as I was looking over your shoulder,
about rain and birds,
and about love,
the way I always do.
The words are still there,
I will never finish it
because there is so much more than poetry
inside the fabric and structure
of this very piece of paper.
Author notes
amorette - A love-knot interlaced like a rosette
March beer - well known and one of the best beer from Croatia (this is not and advertising)
The March Hare,
- often called the Mad March Hare, is a character from the tea party scene in Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
In a list
A contest entry
- Dream Lover. by Poetryintheblood.
350 points, ended August 18, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Never Forget, Never Let Go by trista.
450 points, ended November 30, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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It took me a few times of reading this to really understand the full scope of imagery and feelings presented. It's amazing how things like this come to represent so much. I have napkins with miniature drawings by others, done in a bar or cafe...and looking at them always brings me back in time.
There are several punctuations I feel could be either added or changed to better guide the reader through the write. (A semi-colon at the end of L1 in your last stanza, for example.) But most are very minor things and more of a personal preference. The word "yourself" sounded awkward to me...I think maybe just "you" would be better, but again...personal preference.
All told, this was wonderfully done with a subtle but effective message. I think you have a very creative and unique approach in the poem. Thanks so much for your entry, and good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
~J. -
Wonderful words.
Write on!
*PEACE*
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"The words are still there,
I will never finish it
because there is so much more than poetry"
Loved these lines, well done! Brava!
Interesting bit of insight on the Croatian culture as well, thanks.
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, Josephine
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Excellent!
This was a super piece of writing! My favorite verse is the last. So soft, romantic, so sentimental, so lovely. Excellent job on this poem!
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Beautifully done
Soft and flowing. beautifully crafted piece. Easy to ream words well chosen and perfectly used Great Job.
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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This is a lovely poem penned ~ the words flow with ease and the tones are soft a very enjoyable read just love the form and the background...best of luck in this contest
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