Oh my Lord –
When will You come?
Will I be found, before my earthly life is done?
Will I experience Your Resurrection Power
and observe how sin You have conquered & devoured?
It’s a win-win scenario, for me, in any case –
As I long to see Your radiance, revealed at Heaven’s pace.
To enter Your gates with humble willingness
is real, knowing that I’m clothed by Your Righteousness.
When will You come?
Will I be found, before Death has finally succumbed?
Although Your timetable has not been uncovered,
thankfully, Your Grace I’ve discovered.
Oh my Lord, I’m standing in line -
To witness Your Return, within the span of Eternity’s time.
Learn more about me and my poetry at:
http://www.squidoo.com/book-isbn-1419650513/
A contest entry
- when will you come ...? by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended August 28, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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"As I long to see Your radiance, revealed at Heaven’s pace.
To enter Your gates with humble willingness"
These two lines, I would suggest changing words; in the first line "pace", I would change to "Gates", it still rhymes with "case", though a different rhyme scheme, still has the basic sound of the rhyme.
Also, in the second line quoted above, I would suggest changing "gates" with "grace"; for two reasons: 1. If you decide to take my suggestion and change "pace" to "Gates" (which will cut down on the obvious forced rhyme that "pace" is) it will take the repetition of the two words away and 2. It sounds better.
"thankfully, Your Grace I’ve discovered." - I think that "Love" would work better than "Grace". Especially if you take my suggestions above but either course whether you do or do not "Love" still, I feel, sounds better.
A lovely poem that you have written here.
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beautifully done. amen
blessings be on you
miley -
very soothing
i find this peice to be very soothing... im a 7th day adventist, and i am also waiting for him to come... love this poem... -
when will you come why you worry if he's already in your heart my dear than he has arrrived worry not
in the first letter of the appostle John 5:12-12
we can clearly get the proof that we have an eternal life once we invited Jesus as savior in our life to be as father and Lord
worry notthe has already saved us from death with his blood and everyday he's arrival gets closer then we will see him face-to-face saying lord WE LOVE YOU
but the only reason he is late is to give chance and knock on other hearts to welcome him
as for the poem itss incredible and awesome so well writtten
i loved it loads
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wow
what a wonderful write
exquite writing
what a wonderfull happy day that day will be when it comes
it will be a day of celabration
thank you for your beautiful poem
keep up the great work
kitty -
A longing you have for much better days! I so understand this as of late. Beautiful testiment to your faith!
Az
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What a wonderful day that will be...whenever it happens!!!
Very touching poem and congrats on the Bronze...you should have won gold with just the last lines:
"Oh my Lord, I'm standing in line-
To witness Your Return, within the span of Eternity's Time"
Great ending!!
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Good day my friend been a long while this is a great write. I do appeciate the sentiment when will you come praise the lord always he will take us through all. He has always been here with us just ask and he shall hear your greatest wishes thank you for sharing peace and blessings keep the faith. excellent write.
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Very poetic, and it sounded if you were deep in thought. I love how you penned it, and to say it again... It was very poetic, I loved some of the descriptions you used - they just seemed flawless throughout --
Wonderful read... Thank you for sharing
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Liked the direction you took this contest prompt - fitting interpretation of the question quote - when will you come? Liked the rhyming couplets you used in these lines; the way you ask and then asnwer your queries. Congratulations on winning bronze in this contest.
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This is a really great write. I really enjoyed reading it. And that's saying a lot because I don't believe in this religious stuff. But you have written a wonderful write about what you believe in. Nicely done.
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congrats with your trophy.
hope to see you in heaven
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The bible says that in the end times we will look up and say COME LORD JESUS! This poem while not exactly portraying that message gives off the words of a person ready to go on to their heavenly home. I loved it.
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Very good
Sounds very much like a sonnet.
Very pretty, and nice use of imagery.
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great read
excellent use of imagery. Straight from the Bible- what every Christian would say to God.
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dont like the style. middle ages is gone, sorry.
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Aww this is so beautiful. The Lord is in your heart, he's in your thoughts and dreams and everything you do. You need not wait for a second coming, if you love Christ he's here already and he knows you and he loves you. Well done friend.
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I like the sonnet form and He will come in his own time. Congrats on your bronze trophy. Best of luck on your writing endeavors.
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this is great i love it....the rhyme scheme worked great
Godbless....;]
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This is sensational, a true writing of the LORDS Love, great job here! God bless you! I love the wording, description and stanza formatting, It flows smoothly, good ryhme scheme too. Its very insprirational and hope providing.
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This was a good read. Very well written. Go job on winning an bronze trophy. Keep up the good writing.
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Great poem! Well obviously your a religious person and as a matter of fact I am too. I really enjoyed reading your piece of encouraging faith. I guess we just have to "keep swimming" until that day comes.
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Amazing and so ever true
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I am startled by the last comment, "we just have to play along with him." I appreciate the intent of this poem. I would like to see you give a try to free verse. The rhyme form appears to contrain the power of your expression.
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Perfectly True!
Yes, it can seem like an eternity's wait. But God has his own plan, and we just have to play along with him.
I love the emotions captured in this, especially with it almost seeming like pleading to know. But that's just how I interpreted it.
Anyways, great write!
-Eternally Fallen
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You deserve your trophy. I felt this poem with you.
Good write. Waiting can feel like an eternity. -
heres to you my friend waiting in line along with the rest of us
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Congratulations on the bronze trophy...it is so well deserved, it not better. I could feel the passion here. I feel the same way. I am waiting and want myself. this was more than a pleasure to read. I look forward to reading more of your wonderful work. This was absolutely beautiful.
Kelli
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The bronze trophy was well deserved I really like the honesty and devotion in your words... this is a simple poem and it is beautiful, if you had tried to be overly verbose it would have ruined the feeling... wonderfully done, I enjoyed reading this piece
Keep writing
Polly -
Congratulations on your Bronze Trophy.
According to Your timetable, which is not yet uncovered,
thankfully, Your Grace I’ve discovered.
No pun intended, if it were not for God’s grace, we would all have made ashes of ourselves long ago. Good work.
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To know that there is so much more after this is something that is so unbelievable, yet believable to those that trust and honor he that is King.
Soulful Woman
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I was seriously misled by the title and would not have clicked on it had I known was sort of coming you were talking about. There's a lesson in that for you, dearie.
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your poem shows how very strong your faith is. you've also worded your poem with a very relaxing rhyme. all in all a good job
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Very calm and peacful poem. Nicely written. Congrate on the bronze.
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this is really good. nice sentimnet, nicely written. there's so much emo poetry out there (don't get me wrong, i like emo poetry) and stuff that deals with darker themes that to read something positive and deeper like this is really a welcome change. we need more people like you who can get out there and say 'yeah, there's a god, an awesome one, and i'm his child, and if you don't like that, that's your problem not mine'.
(just realised that that was quite a rant...to sum it up i liked this poem)
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very nice. i like it.
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Beautiful.
This is very well written. It compliments the prompt very well. There is much truth in your words as well as a sense of deep belief in our destination. Your love of God shines through in all of your words. I have a sense of peace when reading your poem that is comforting to me and most likely for others as well. Congratulations on your bronze award.
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Hey...congratulations on the bronze...wonderful write...I love the line "to enter your gates with humble willingness"...beautiful, poet. Peace, Rhonda
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Oh my Lord, I’m standing in line -
To witness Your Return, within the span of Eternity’s time.
Indeed so beautiful verse is here..
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I, too, am standing in line. To just imagine what it will be like when our Lord returns is amazing and calming. I've never known such Peace. A wonderful piece, Joe. Hugs, Patricia
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