In an afternoon supermarket rush,
with tangled hair, clothes stained with exhaustion.
I picked a rotisserie chicken for our dinner.
At the checkout line there were women
with pedicured feet in open toed shoes,
shiny mixes of lavender eye shadow and sweat.
Baskets full of greens, cheeses and raw meats,
work clothes with little wrinkles.
Chanel still lingering, waiting to seize with the melting sun.
I looked down at my submerged chicken,
soaked in juices (who am I kidding; grease)
and checked to see if one tray of garlic mash would be enough.
I wondered how long my chicken ran around headless.
How long did it run from what was true and safe?
And did it realize in the end that it's okay to stop,
to lay in the grass till dark.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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So this poem is really good! The imagery was flawless. It all so was very entertaining!
My favorite part.
"In an afternoon supermarket rush,
with tangled hair, clothes stained with exhaustion.
I picked a rotisserie chicken for our dinner.
At the checkout line there were women
with pedicured feet in open toed shoes,
shiny mixes of lavender eye shadow and sweat."
~Dommi -
This is a very good write. You presented your thoughts quite well here. There is a lot of vivid imagary genarated by your words. I was hooked till the very last line.
Well done Poet.
Keep up the good writing.
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LOL!!
It is true! I've seen chickens run headless before! Blood spraying every were! So funny
My favorite part
I looked down at my submerged chicken,
soaked in juices (who am I kidding; grease)
and checked to see if one tray of garlic mash would be enough.
I wondered how long my chicken ran around headless.
How long did it run from what was true and safe?
And did it realize in the end that it's okay to stop,
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Excellent
You have captured a deep and serious human pondering in the story of purchasing a rotisserie chicken. Your images are vivid, clear and commonly identifiable. You've inseerted humor and I love the line "How long did it run from what was true and safe?"
You use everyday vernacular to mold poetry. I'm making you my first favorite.
Nice work,
Jim
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This poem is filled with imagery and reminds me of my jaunts to the grocery store and all the things that race through my head in a moment's notice. I love how you ended this work. I too sometimes think of the way we slaughter our food to make meat. Your poem flowed with the energy of a conversation with self,. and made me smile. Very clever work.
Candice -
I like this. The imagery is different; it's almost "gritty", but that seems like the wrong word. The lines that stuck out were "soaked in juices (who am I kidding; grease)" and "shiny mixes of lavender eye shadow and sweat". Very well-written, and the ending brings it all together nicely. Excellent work, thank you for sharing this, keep it up
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Wonderful
A very interesting piece indeed. I like the way you described the imagery in this piece. It really stood out. There was a certain sadness in this piece which I seemed to pick up on - or was that tiredness? Either way, it was a wonderful piece of writing. More please.
Wayne
x
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i wonder if the headless chicken was symbolic to the tired person in the line. tangled hair and exhaustion to me, means that there's grease on the person due to sweat. and the last two lines convey the point metaphorically- that "i'm running around like a chicken without its head on"
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Awesome interpretation of this poem. That was exactly what I was aiming for. Thanks again for the amazing comments.
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