dreams spill on the page
dissecting my emotions
one portion at a time
and yet they show all sides of me
some things I'd rather not reveal
and they try to show an honesty
some shadows of the past
sometimes my foolish vanity
sometimes how I can be such an ass
sometimes I pour out my heart
so that my audience can watch me bleed
but in essence they get to see
me simply being me.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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As someone who constantly writes, I can really relate to this. Indeed we are ourselves in our writing, even when we try to fake it or to write from someone else's perspective. I can see a lot of "you" in this. This is a pretty poem.
~Diana -
Dreams, Ideas, Thoughts and feelings flow softly across your page...Showing us just a little more of the real you behind the pen
The best part is the essence of you simply being you 
Thank you kindly for sharing you with me
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It seems simple, but yet incredibly philosophical and with great depth. Dreams can be a lot things and have a lot of purposes and they can haunt you or entertain you, but whatever they do they never seize to be a piece of you. Brilliant!
~DD~
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i didnt know what to think the first time i read this so i went back again.. i love the depth and the imagery surrounding this poem certainly a great addition to anyones fav collection xxx
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I think this is one of my favorite poems I've read by you! I liked how you formed it too, it was unique
. Plus the first line was really good, it drew me in right away.
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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there is always a lot of different sides to a person, and you manage to show that in this one! Happy New Year!
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You know the last two lines out of all summed this up perfectly
"but in essence they get to see
me simply being me."
But I wonder how many dreams are just muddled thoughts coveted by a sequencial image!
Great write I like this even better then Message In A Bottle!
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I like the honest flow.
Enjoyed the read.
Be Well
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Excellent!
Very nicely written! Our poetry should reveal ourselves as honestly as we can portray ourselves. There is nothing more interesting to me than learning how a person really feels about themselves and about the world around them. Bravo!
<3 Maureen
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Oy!!
What You an ass
-gasp-
Nooooooooooooooo way
Nice to meet You Sir
I Love how You spilled Your thoughts for us to read and allow us the honor of knowing what many do not reveal about themselves...
the imperfections that make You human,
[oh how You are not alone]
You don't hide in closet with the bones
of the past...
but no need to air the laundry today ...
on a need to know basis I say
I have my Victoria's Secret kept a Secret
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also voice
my Friend!
Many blessings to You in all You do; Sweet Soul)
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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being you is not simple as life is a trial we all endure, very good poem herre,thanks for sharing, good luck..mm
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I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. It's honest, and doesn't apologise for it. 'When you read my words, you see my life' I like that about this.
Keep up the great work Bill.
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I found this piece extremely interesting.... spilled your soul here, and there is a touch of mystery. i really liked the way you ended this
Sincerely,
Mel
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Very enjoyeable piece my friend. I really enjoyed this poem. The unique set up is great as well Love the emotions that seemed to flow. great work.
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This is really good. I like the way you wrote this. it's got a very nice rythm to it... it's kind of broken up but that's what makes it so awesome! Keep up your great work!!!
Crismon -
very truthful. i don't know you but you know what I mean. the emotion and imagery is great. very nicely portrayed. i'm sorry i took so long to comment back, i didn't realise I had that much hw. well, very nice job on this.
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very good piece...I really liked the ending..I thought it was kind of cute! I enjoyed reading this poem
keep writing my friend you seem to have a special nack for writing what you feel!
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What I like the most....
is that you are so honest and so careful...
it reads so clear and rhythmical,
it doesnt have to rhyme of course
but it just flows so well,
I love how in the poem you yearn for simple honesty
and you speak so honestly within the poem itself,
thats what makes you such a good writer,
that you can take two words like "dreams spill"
and pour out your heart!
What talent! You are amazing!
"sometimes my foolish vanity
sometimes how I can be such an ass
sometimes I pour out my heart
so that my audience can watch me bleed
but in essence they get to see
me simply being me."
I wish I could be more like this!
TRULY incredible write!
x from the ashes x
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The best thing you can do is to be yourself...
This is real and beautifully written in form and content...Lynda
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this is so much like the poem I just wrote..'a deeper poem' for me.....I relate to this..so much..
I like the title..I need to spill more dreams, I think
I think it is very true, we need to bleed onto the paper..
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I am especially fond of the line:
"so that my audience can watch me bleed"
I like the near rhyme used throughout...
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Intriguing piece, the rhyme was unnoticeable, which is always good for simple rhyme. The style has a good flow that complimented the word choice and beautiful phrasing.
I would prefer to seeing regular spacing as this format confuses me in some parts where the read should be straight on.
But apart from that this was a beautiful piece.
Especially for a quickie
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It was a good read; however, I thought the rhyme scheme was awfully basic. It’s not such a major turn off that it defers me from its message, but you may find it difficult to getting most well versed poets to sit through it.
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I love pieces that allow the readers to catch a glimpse of the poet..or his or her thoughts at least..
They always tend to be favorite reads for me..
Lovely write..thank you for sharing..
Peace
~A~
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I do agree....ah...you have a muse
in you too! Thank gawd! I actually wrote a ditty..
about my farting dog! and what's really funny..is
it won a gold trophy....laughing.....oh lord have
mercy!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
wonderfully written poem we can all relate and enjoy!
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wow, well put, I like the abstract styling, and the words, aside from being well put, are true in all ways, kudos and props
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really that's the spirit of writing and all we can do is be ourselves and hope somebody appreciates it...nice job
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Well Bill, I feel like I read three poems here. I first read the poem as a whole. I felt the usage of slant rhyme here very subtle, if even intentional or not, effective, just the way the poem flows, being very natural and yet while fluid in reading, jagged in emotion. As always, I felt your word choice was thought out, contemplated and perfectly picked to express exactly what you wanted to convey.
Then I wanted to be a little experimental. So I read the lines down in two columns.
"Dissecting my emotions
And yet they show all sides of me
And they try to show an honesty
Sometimes my foolish vanity
Sometimes I pour out my heart
But in essence they get to see."
There in itself it seems is a poem, showing fault and honesty, contrast and comparison, black and white, yet, they see you in a dissection.
Then,
"Dreams spill on the page
One portion at a time
Some things I'd rather not reveal
Some shadows of the past
Sometimes how I can be such an ass
So that my audience can watch me bleed
Me simply being me."
That is another poem, with a whole other topic; Something being revealed, like penning secrets on a page; a letter perhaps of blood and honesty revealing a history of mistakes that you're putting up for all to see, making a change in life that is attoning for these mistakes, "This ass" you've made of yourself, these changes are the blood you bleed as you change, maybe you've been false in the past and tried to please people. Ending with "you simply being you."
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Made me smile the big smile of happy. Aren't all those things the real you? We are all so many things that I sometimes wonder if there really is a definitive me!
Affectionately, Joyce
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Excellent!
You summed it up quite well and it didn't take a novel to do it lol
The last line is very effective because a good writer is "me simply being me" through the written word.
The line that caught my eye is "some shadows of the past". I believe we write with those shadows more than we realize at the time. In retrospect, I see a lot of shadows.
Your title is very fitting to the content of your poem.
A fine piece of work, my friend.
~Kathy
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Exactly
Bravo Bill. You have said this perfectly. Thank you my friend. Rich.
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There's an honesty here that I think comes with maturity
Makes one wonder. And yet that could be me. But it's not me anymore.
Watching you bleed? Och ya! That's gotta hurt.
And yet you seem to accept it. Wow. Hmmmm..
Is this courage? Might be.
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:-)
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This is a very interesting poem that you have here. I love the wisdom in your words. It has left me curious though after reading this. What does this have to do with either prompts: Teatime or Alice In Wonderland?
I'll be happy if you could explain this to me.
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest.
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My favorite part was the ending.. the sweet little rhyming scheme.
Very good job. I enjoyed it.
Good luck in the contest!
xx. -
Since we are dual by nature,I'll take both sides my friend. So that I may know the all of you..
-Eddy
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